1831.] The News-paper Office. 175 



WESTERN. The Opera boxes are all let for the season. 



SCRIP. Rothschild says he never knew money so scarce. 



WESTERN. Crockford swears he never knew it so plentiful. 



SCRIP. Pshaw ! who is Crockford ? 



WESTERN. And who is Rothschild? (Takes up his hat abruptly, to 

 quit the room). 



SCRIP. A word, Mr. Western, before you quit, and I have done. The 

 anarchical revolutionary spirit of the age has so wholly bewildered your 

 better faculties, that a return to good sense, though much to be desired, 

 is manifestly not to be expected. I have therefore only to wish and I 

 do so from the bottom of my soul that as you are such a staunch advo- 

 cate for these new improvements, your very next voyage may be in a 

 balloon ; your next ride, on a rail-road ; your next speculation, in a 

 tunnel ; your next residence, in a new square ; and your next amusement, 

 in a new theatre. [Exeunt ambo. 



SCENE III. Editor's Public Room. 



EDITOR, Mr. O'FLAM. 



O'FLAM. 'Tis time my " pensive virgin" were here. 



EDITOR. Do not make yourself uneasy ; the lady will be punctual, 

 depend on it. Marriage is not a speculation in which women are apt to 

 be behind time. 



Enter an Office-Boy. 



BOY. A lady in the private room would wish to speak with Mr. H. 

 Broadset. 



O'FLAM. Tell her, I attend. [Exit Boy.] Now, thou guardian deity 

 of Ireland thou, who hast cased in triple brass the faces of thy chosen 

 Milesians thou, whose high-priest is an Irish adventurer, whose 

 favourite dialect is the Irish brogue omnipresent, omnipotent, omni- 

 scient Impudence ! 'for this once befriend me. Never yet have I in- 

 voked thy name in vain. [Exit O'FLAM. 



EDITOR. Nor ever will, I'll answer for it. 



Enter an Attorney. 



ATTORNEY. I have come, Mr. Editor, on some very painful business, 

 relative to a police-report which appeared in your estimable and widely- 

 circulated journal of the 5th instant. In that report, Sir, you are made 

 to charge my client, Isaac better known by his alias of Ikey Single- 

 ton, with being the receiver of stolen goods, well knowing that they 

 were stolen. Hard case this on a gent, like my worthy client, w r ho lives 

 solely by his character. 



EDITOR. Indeed! He lives then on what any other man would 

 starve. 



ATTORNEY. Of that I am no judge. However, Sir, to come at once 

 to the point. Mr. Singleton, overpowered by his anguished feelings, 

 and touched to the quick in the most sensitive point, his honour, has 

 empowered me to make the following temperate and reasonable propo- 

 sitions to you. First, that within two hours you place in my hands for 

 his use, the sum of 300. ; secondly, that you instantly retract your 

 calumnious accusation, and, in the most conspicuous part of your jour- 

 nal, express your conviction of the perfect purity of his conduct as a 

 man and a gent. 



EDITOR. Pay three hundred pounds ! Why, Sir, your worthy client's 



