1 76 The. Newspaper Office. [FEB. 



character is extravagantly over-estimated at as many pence. With 

 respect to retracting the charge, Mr. Singleton, if I mistake not, has 

 lately figured in that part of his Britannic Majesty's Australian domi- 

 nions, better known by the name of Botany Bay. 



ATTORNEY. Ahem ! a hem ! He has been unfortunate, I grant. 



EDITOR. He has also had an affair of honour with the Old Bailey. 



ATTORNEY. Misfortunes seldom come singly. 



EDITOR. Moreover, his name was included in the list of fashionable 

 departures for Brixton last spring. 



ATTORNEY. The air of that neighbourhood was recommended to him 

 by his physician. He was always weakly. 



EDITOR. You have said quite enough. I shall neither pay retract 

 nor apologize. 



ATTORNEY. Then, Sir, it becomes my painful duty to inform you that 

 proceedings will be forthwith commenced against you. Anticipating 

 some such reply, I have already engaged the services of Sir J. Scarlett, 

 who assures me that the report in question is an atrocious libel, and that 

 he sympathizes from the bottom of his soul, with the wrongs of my 

 excellent client, who, like himself, has fallen a victim to a licentious 

 press. May I request that you will favour me with your attorney's 

 name and address ? 



EDITOR. Attorney ! What should I know of an attorney ? Do you 

 think I have no respect for my character ? 



ATTORNEY. Good : that's actionable. If A wilfully, and with 

 malice aforethought, insult B , and thereby wound his (the aforesaid 

 B 's) good name and reputation, then A 



EDITOR. Will be so good as to quit the room, or else B 



ATTORNEY. Will kick him down stairs. Assault and battery, with 

 intent to provoke a duel. Actionable to the fullest extent. If A 

 kick B down stairs, then A 



EDITOR. Shews that he knows how to do justice to a pettifogger. 



[Exit Attorney, and re-enter O'FLAM, hurriedly. 



O'FLAM. What a blunder ! But, thank Heaven, I have got rid 

 of her. 



EDITOR. You seem agitated, Mr. O'Flam. Has your matrimonial 

 lottery-ticket turned up a blank ? 



O'FLAM. Sir I excuse my agitation, but really my feelings are so 



overpowered, that In short, Sir, in the pensive virgin I spoke to you 



of, I have discovered how shall I mention it ? a 



EDITOR. Former chere amie ? Very awkward, indeed ! 



O'FLAM. Not exactly, but neither more nor less than my old land- 

 lady, whose lodgings I left about a month since, and under circum- 

 stances of so unpleasant a nature, that, in the agitation of the moment, I 



actually forgot to But excuse my proceeding further on this painful 



topic my blushes must plead my apology. 



EDITOR. So I perceive. Does your pensive virgin insist on pay- 

 ment ? 



O'FLAM. Payment ! and from me too ! No, Sir, the good lady has 

 arrived at that discreet age which forbids her to indulge longer in san- 

 guine anticipations. Besides, her gentle heart was so wrung by the 

 unexpected rencontre, that her interest was quite at fault, and she quitted 

 the room, curtseying at every five steps, with a face glowing like a 

 copper saucepan. But to turn to a more agreeable topic. Allow me, 



