J831.] The Newspaper Office. 177 



since I have failed in my matrimonial projects, to volunteer my services 

 as a reporter to your intelligent journal. At Trinity College, Dublin, 

 where my abilities, I flatter myself, met with 



EDITOR. How, then, came you to leave it ? 



O'FLAM. Why, Sir, I unfortunately happened to have a dispute with 

 my uncle, respecting some money \vhich he pretended to have advanced 

 me, in the course of which, conceiving my honour injured, I was under 

 the afflicting necessity of applying for satisfaction to his nose. This 

 brought on a duel, wherein I had the ill-luck to wing my venerable 

 kinsman. But the worst is to come. The next day I discovered that 

 my uncle was right, so hurried off to his lodgings, and should have made 

 every requisite apology, only 



EDITOR. He was dead before you arrived. 



O'FLAM. Yes, Sir, as dead as the small-beer at a Wai worth boarding- 

 school. However, except for the look of the thing, 'tis of no great con- 

 sequence ; for so long as pawnbrokers exist in London, and one rag 

 sticks to another on my back, I shall never be in want of uncles to 

 supply me with funds. 



Enter Office-Boy. 



BOY. Another lady in the private room is desirous to speak with Mr. 

 Hercules Broadset. 



O'FLAM. Another landlady, by Jove ! Pray, Sir, go and tender her the 

 very respectful regrets of Mr. H. Broadset, that from a previous engage- 

 ment he is unable to grant the expected interview. I have had enough 

 of matrimony to last me my life. The very thought of it gives me the 

 heart-burn. \_Exit EDITOR, manet OFLAM.] 



SCENE III. A Private Room at the Office. A Lady seated alone at a 



table. 



LADY. Heigho! I feel a strange sensation at my heart. What a 

 thing it is to be so susceptible ! But I was always delicate, as poor dear 

 Dr. Killquick used to say. The very idea of a second husband over- 

 powers me. Gracious heavens, how my heart beats ! Broadset, what 

 an attractive name ! Hercules, how captivating ! Oh, if the person of 

 the dear man do but answer to his name, I shall be bless me, how I 

 tremble ! What a trying moment ! 



Enter EDITOR. 



EDITOR. I am come, Madam, on the part of Mr. Hercules Broadset, 

 to say 



LADY (turning her head aside and simpering.) Amiable man, what deli- 

 cacy of voice, what refinement of address ! \_She turns affectedly towards 

 him, at the same time raising her veil.~\ Mercy on me ! my husband, 

 Mr. G ! 



EDITOR. Damnation ! my wife, Mrs. G ! 



LADY. How is this ? I was given to understand you were dead long 

 since. 



EDITOR. So I was, Ma'am, on the same principle that a debtor is 

 ie not at home" to his dun. 



LADY. Inhuman man ! Is this the way you treat me after so long a 

 separation ? 



EDITOR. Treat, Madam ! Would you call it a treat if an apothe- 

 cary were to set you down to a glass of rhubarb bv way of a relish ? 



M.M. New Series. VOL. XI. No. 62. 2 A 



