Confessions of a Coward. \_ APRIL, 



resorted to in self-defence. Duelling, indeed, is still interdicted ; but 

 if you break into the Quaker's house after nightfal, he will resist you 

 with sword and pistol ! Now arms, under all circumstances, are my 

 anathema the pistol is an abomination, even while it saves my life; so 

 that I defer assuming the broad-brim until the spirit of Fox reanimates 

 his followers, and he that is smitten upon one cheek shall be ready to 

 turn the other also. In the meantime, my creed is as follows : I believe 

 discretion to be the better part of valour. I believe in the combustible, 

 explosive, and life-destroying properties of gunpowder. I believe in 

 the mortal qualities of cold steel, whether in sword, lance, bayonet, or 

 dagger. I believe the only post of safety in battle is to be out of the 

 reach of sabre and range of shot. I believe life to be the first consider- 

 ation, and honour the second ; and I hold the contrary to be a false 

 heresy. I believe the heels to be the most worthy part of the human 

 body, inasmuch as they minister quickest to self-preservation, and, by 

 their timely use, seldom fail to put an end to strife. I believe the most 

 inglorious peace better than the most glorious war. I believe the 

 strength of a country to consist in its live population ; and am firmly 

 persuaded that one man walking in the streets of London is worth one 

 thousand lying in the bed of honour. These are the chief articles of my 

 belief. As to my hopes hereafter, I trust that when I have gone to my 

 long home, the innocence of my life will be of no disservice to me. With 

 no deed of blood on my conscience having made no children orphans, 

 or wives widows may I not hope to raise my crest as high as the 

 proudest heroes ? I trust, however, I shall be lodged in the opposite 

 quarter of the skies the diameter of the earth's orbit at least between 

 us. Neither in time nor eternity, should I be easy in the neighbour- 

 hood of Guy Earl of Warwick, the Chevalier Bayard, Godfrey of Bou- 

 logne, John of Gaunt, or even the Duke of Wellington. The spirits of 

 warriors will probably be always warlike. The martial ghosts will be 

 excellent good company for each other ; and we civil shades would pre- 

 fer a separate establishment. 



Such is the religion of my cowardice. With but little addition, it 

 contains my politics also. I am decidedly opposed to standing armies. 

 In foreign policy, I am for the principle of non-intervention in all its 

 rigour ; and no crime, I am of opinion, should be punished with such 

 unflinching severity as a breach of the peace. I am moreover for reform 

 of every kind, because, when any demand is made, the quietest way is to 

 concede it at once, and avoid the possible event of the petitioner resort- 

 ing to violence to obtain his object. 



My philosophy comes next on the tapis. Cowardice has made me a 

 political economist. Finding the writers on that science unanimous in 

 contending that peace is the true interest of nations, it is little surprising 

 that I have become enamoured of a theory so perfectly in unison with 

 my feelings. Peace, peace, peace ! was not more the heart's desire of 

 Lord Clarendon, than it is mine. Upon this subject, I am fond of quoting 

 Milton " Peace hath its victories as well as war ;" and again 



" But if there be in glory aught of good, 

 It may by means far different be attained, 

 Without ambition, war, or violence, 

 By deeds of peace" 



Milton, I may as well mention, en passant, is my favourite English 

 poet not on account of his sublimity, but because of the pacific spirit 



