1831.] Affairs in General. 447 



interest of the country to provide, to induce those persons whose diplo- 

 matic talents might be productive of advantage to the country to make 

 the diplomatic service a regular profession. It was true, " that ambassa- 

 dors were sometimes sent to agreeable places, but it should be remem- 

 bered that they incurred great expences, and he did not think that it 

 would be good policy to discontinue altogether the payment of pensions." 

 Mr. Hume was of opinion that it would be a far better plan to give no 

 retiring pensions to ambassadors. He wished to know whether the 

 recommendation of the finance committee of 1828, that the amount of 

 these pensions should be confined to 40,000, had been complied with ? 

 But we must have inquirers on this subject and on others, who will not 

 suffer their queries to be answered with any official dexterity. The 

 English love plainness; and perfectly knowing that nine-tenths of 

 these diplomatic appointments were mere jobs, they will insist upon 

 seeing the abuse extinguished at once, and for ever. On the sale of 

 Lord Granville's shewy outfit, a paper remarks : 



" An Ambassador s Furniture. The effects of Lord Granville, or, to use the 

 grand language of the auctioneer, e the splendid elegances,' are now for sale 

 by public auction ; and a grand display it certainly is. We hope our old friend 

 Phillips, when he comes to exercise his eloquence on the plateau, which is very 

 similar to that Mr. Leech, of the London Coffeehouse, prepared for his Majes- 

 ty's table at Guildhall, will exert it to explain why this regal pomp is neces- 

 sary for an ambassador, and how much better the business of the State is 

 performed in a foreign land, in consequence of such an exhibition of gold, 

 silver-gilt, and plate glass. If he can prove that it encourages foreigners to 

 solicit loans and subsidies from this country, that will be enough/' 



Shakspeare says, <( you have taken away my living, when you have 

 taken away that whereby I do live." The old lady at the police-office, 

 ought on this principle to have charged her criminal with an intention 

 to commit murder, and the magistrates ought to have committed him to 

 stand his trial for his life at the Old Bailey. A week or tw r o since an 

 old lady made her appearance, in a state of great wrath, at one of the 

 offices, and obtested the anger of the law against an individual who had 

 purloined a set of teeth that cost her thirty guineas, from her bed-cham- 

 ber. The thief, she said, wore the stolen property ! but the magistrate 

 said he could not interfere. This was a hard case, that justice could not 

 interfere when a lady complained that a robber had stolen " even the 

 teeth out of her head/' The case was pronounced a new one, for though 

 few things are worse than to eat of another person's bread, it is rather 

 singular to add the aggravation of eating that bread with the individual's 

 actual teeth. The wits have been active on the occasion. Some have 

 declared it a happy illustration of the original compact of man and wife, 

 (( bone of my bone." An epigram says, as the parties had quarrelled, 

 that the plunder of the teeth was merely a bonus upon the dividend. 

 Another, that all the dull things that have been said on the topic are 

 bon mots, for all that. The thief, we understand, says that he had but 

 one source of regret, that, " in stealing the teeth he did not carry off the 

 tongue." 



The theatrical world are beginning to feel the national impulse, and 

 are crying out for the reduction of the King of Comedy, George Col- 

 man's, civil list. Among other grievances, they complain that this royal 



