1831-3 the Elections and Prospects of Ireland. 633 



give them to the pigs, for fear they'd take root over again, and run away 

 with the land from you : and as to the poultry, and the sheep, and the 

 drop of drink, troth I'm thinking its proud and lazy you'll be getting 

 with the plenty that'll be staring you out of countenance. Never a 

 'ruction will you have, but amongst yourselves. As to the tithe-proctors, 

 they'll bury themselves with their own tools, and you'll never be put out 

 of your way again by one of the dirty blackguards. All the schools that 

 come down from Kildare St. will fall away like dust ; and you'll never 

 hear of a bishop except Bishop Doyle and myself, for with a blessing and 

 my health to wear it, I'll be a bishop then. In regard to the police, 

 they'll all go back to England, for you-know they're not natural to us, 

 even the best of them. As to the matter of rents, the landlords will all 

 come begging and beseeching of you to keep your little tenements, and 

 to take as much land as you can ride over in a day's walk, and they'll 

 leave the price entirely to your own honour, so that you can have your 

 holding as cheap as dirt. Then you'll have no clergy to pay but 

 your own; and you may send your children where you like; and you'll 

 consume all your own eggs, and butter, and beef, and pork, instead of 

 sending them out of the country to get money for your rack-rents, and 

 leaving yourselves, like the robin redbreasts, in the winter, without a 

 morsel of food to keep the sign of life in ye. 



But you're wondering all this time why I don't say something about 

 the r a pale. If you weren't a set of gossoons,* you'd know very well 

 that the rapale is throtting after reform, just like my dog Pincher, that's 

 eternally treading on the heels of my ould horse. Go where I will, 

 Pincher' s after me and so is the rapale of the Union after the reform. 

 Troth it's as fast upon reform as if it was its shadow. Do you think Dan 

 O'Connell doesn't know what he's about ? Let him alone, and you'll see 

 how shy he'll make them look, just as if they'd lost their tails. But, 

 mind what I'm saying to you. You're not to let out one word about the 

 rapale, until after the elections ; for Dan is so deep that he'll first catch 

 the Orangemen in a trap, and when he has them there, I'll give you leave 

 to go three weeks without mass, and to miss the Easter dues, if he doesn't 

 pin them to the rapale. And won't you do what Dan bids you ? As 

 certain as the flowers in May, you'll all be gentlemen and ladies when 

 the rapale comes. You'll have your own horses, and your own cattle, 

 and you'll have your own parliament that won't betray ye, but that'll 

 just do whatever you please, and clap all the loose hands into the Excise, 

 and the fat of the land will be flowing upon you like new milk. Oh I 

 what a murthering country will Ireland be, when we've got the rapale. 

 I'll be bound there isn't one of you now that won't be going up to Dublin 

 when the parliament's 'sitting, and, when you're away, the soil will be 

 running mad with all the crops that '11 be breaking their necks growing 

 up so fast for you, against you come back. And may be you won't come 

 home with new gowns for the wives, and stockings for the children,, and 

 the world knows what all, of ribbands, and rings, and brooches. (Don't 

 be tittering, Mary Ryan ; it's all in store for you, and the sooner the bet- 

 ter. Indeed, you'll be picking your steps, yet, like a kitten in a shower 

 of rain.) 



You see, boys, the sense of the thing is this. We must first get 

 reform : we must put out all the Orangemen at the elections. Well, 



* An Irish equivalent for garfon, conveying, in addition, as occasion may require, 

 the reproach of foolishness. 



M.M. New Series. VOL. XI. No. 66. 4 M 



