156 HORATIO 



" It strikes me, Tom," said Miss Teresa, " that you have made 

 yourself very ridiculous this evening." 



" No doubt of it," cried every body and the unfortunate Tom 

 reduced himself into the least possible space. That night Mr. and 

 Mrs. Malderton had a long conversation respecting their daughter's 

 prospects and future arrangements. Miss Teresa went to bed, con- 

 sidering \vhether, in the event of her marrying a title, she could con- 

 scientiously encourage the visits of her present associates, and dreamt 

 all night of disguised noblemen, large routs, ostrich plumes, bridal 

 favours, and Horatio Sparkins. 



Various surmises were hazarded on the Sunday morning, as to the 

 mode of conveyance which the anxiously-expected Horatio would 

 adopt. Did he keep a gig was it possible he would come on horse- 

 back or would he patronize the stage ? These, and various other 

 conjectures of equal importance, engrossed the attention of Mrs. Mal- 

 derton and her daughters during the whole morning. 



" Upon my word, my dear, it's a most annoying thing that that 

 vulgar brother of yours should have invited himself to dine here to-day," 

 said Mr. Malderton to his wife. " On account of Mr. Sparkins' 

 coming down, I purposely abstained from asking any one but Flam- 

 well. And then to think of your brother a tradesman it's insuf- 

 ferable. I declare I wouldn't have him mention his shop before our 

 new guest no, not for a thousand pounds. I wouldn't care if he 

 had the good sense to conceal the disgrace he is to the family ; but 

 he's so cursedly fond of his horrible business, that he will let people 

 know what he is." 



Mr. Jacob Barton, the individual alluded to, was a large grocer ; 

 so vulgar, and so lost to all sense of feeling, that he actually never 

 scrupled to avow that he wasn't above his business ; " he'd made his 

 money by it, and he didn't care who know'd it." 



" Ah ! Flamwell, my dear fellow, how d'ye do?" said Mr. Malder- 

 ton, as a little spoffish man, with green spectacles, entered the room. 

 " You got my note ?" 



et Yes, I did ; and here I am in consequence." 



" You don't happen to know this Mr. Sparkins by name ? You 

 know every body." 



Mr. Flamwell was one of those gentleman of such remark- 

 ably extensive information that one occasionally meets with in 

 society, who pretend to know every body, but who, of course, know 

 nobody. At Malderton's, where any stories about great people were 

 received with a greedy ear, he was an especial favourite ; and, know- 

 ing the kind of people he had to deal with, he carried his passion of 

 claiming acquaintance with everybody to the most immoderate length. 

 He had rather a singular way of telling his greatest lies in a paren- 

 thesis, and with an air of self-denial, as if he feared being thought 

 egotistical. 



" Why, no, I don't know him by that name," returned Flamwell, 

 in a low tone, and with an air of immense importance. " I have no 

 doubt I know him though. Is he tall ?" 



"Middle sized," said Miss Teresa. 



" With black hair?" inquired Flamwell, hazarding a bold guess. 



" Yes," returned Miss Teresa eagerly. 



