MRS. JOSEPH PORTER, e OVER THE WAY.' 15 



lago was quite sure that, in the stabbing scene, he should make " a 

 decided hit." A self-taught deaf gentleman, who had kindly offered 

 to bring his flute, would be a most valuable addition to the orchestra ; 

 Miss Jenkins' talent for the piano was too well known to be doubted 

 for an instant ; Mr. Cape had practised the violin accompaniment 

 with her frequently and Mr. Brown, who had kindly undertaken, at 

 a few hours' notice, to bring his violoncello, would, no doubt, manage 

 extremely well. Seven o'clock came, and so did the audience ; all 

 the rank and fashion of Clapham and its vicinity was fast filling the 

 theatre. There were the Smiths, the Stubbs's, the Halfpennys, the 

 Gubbins's, the Nixons, the Dixons, the Hicksons, people with all 

 sorts of names, two aldermen, a sheriff in perspective, Sir Thomas 

 Glumper (who had been knighted in the last reign for carrying up 

 an address on somebody's escaping from something); and last, not 

 least, there were Mrs. Joseph Porter and Uncle Tom, seated in the 

 centre of the third row from the stage ; Mrs. P. amusing Uncle Tom 

 with all sorts of stories, and Uncle Tom amusing every one else by 

 laughing most immoderately. 



Ting, ting, ting ! went the prompter's bell at eight o'clock pre- 

 cisely ; and dash went the orchestra into the overture to " The Men 

 of Prometheus." The pianoforte player hammered away with the 

 most laudable perseverance ; and the violoncello, which struck in at 

 intervals, " sounded very well, considering." The unfortunate indi- 

 vidual, however, who had undertaken to play the flute accompa- 

 niment ee at sight," found, from fatal experience, the perfect truth of 

 the old adage, " out of sight, out of mind ;" for being very near- 

 sighted, and being placed at at considerable distance from his music- 

 book, all he had an opportunity of doing was to play a bar now and 

 then in the wrong place, and put the other performers out. It is, 

 however, but justice to Mr. Brown to say that he did this to admira- 

 tion. The overture, in fact, was not unlike a race between the dif- 

 ferent instruments ; the piano came in first by several bars, and the 

 violoncello next, quite distancing the poor flute; for the deaf gentle- 

 man too-too'd away, quite unconscious that he was at all wrong, until 

 apprised, by the applause of the audience, that the overture was con- 

 cluded. A considerable bustle and shuffling of feet was then heard 

 upon the stage, accompanied by whispers of, " Here's a pretty go ! 

 what's to be done ?" &c. The audience applauded again, by way of 

 raising the spirits of the performers ; and then Mr. Sempronius de- 

 sired the prompter, in a very audible voice, to " clear the stage, and 

 ring up." 



Ting, ting, ting ! went the bell again. Every body sat down ; the 

 curtain shook, rose sufficiently high to display several pair of yellow 

 boots paddling about, and there it remained. 



Ting, ting, ting ! went the bell again. The curtain was violently 

 convulsed, but rose no higher ; the audience tittered ; Mrs. Porter 

 looked at Uncle Tom, and Uncle Tom looked at every body, rubbing 

 his hands, and laughing with perfect rapture. After as much ringing 

 with the little bell as a muffin boy would make in going down a 

 tolerably long street, and a vast deal of whispering, hammering, and 

 calling for nails and cord, the curtain at length rose, and discovered 



