386 THE BLOOMSBURY CHRISTENING. 



need hardly say that it is the health and prosperity of that young 

 gentleman, the particular event of whose early life we are here met to 

 celebrate (applause). Ladies and gentlemen, it is impossible to 

 suppose that our friends here, whose sincere well-wishers we all are, 

 can pass through life without some trials, considerable suffering, 

 severe affliction, and heavy losses !" Here the arch-traitor paused, 

 and slowly drew forth a long, white pocket-handkerchief his ex- 

 ample was followed by several ladies. " That these trials may be 

 long spared them, is my most earnest prayer, my most fervent wish 

 (a distinct sob from the grandmother). I hope and trust, ladies and 

 gentlemen, that the infant whose christening we have this evening 

 met to celebrate, may not be removed from the arms of his parents 

 by premature decay (several cambrics were in requisition) ; that his 

 young and now apparently healthy form, may not be wasted by linger- 

 ing disease. (Here Dumps cast a sardonic glance around, for a great 

 sensation was manifest among the married ladies.) You, I am sure, 

 will concur with me in wishing that he may live to be a comfort and 

 a blessing to his parents, ( e Hear, hear!' and an audible sob from 

 Mr. Kitterbell.) But should he not be what we could wish should 

 he forget, in after times, the duty which he owes to them should 

 they unhappily experience that distracting truth, ' how sharper than 

 a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child' " Here Mrs. Kit- 

 terbell, with her handkerchief to her eyes, and accompanied by several 

 ladies, rushed from the room, and went into violent hysterics in the 

 passage, leaving her better half in almost as bad a condition, and a 

 general impression in Dumps' favour: for people like sentiment 

 after all. 



It need hardly be added that this occurence quite put a stop to the 

 harmony of the evening. Vinegar, hartshorn, and cold water, were 

 now as much in request as negus, rout cakes, and bon-bons had been 

 a short time before. Mrs. Kitterbell was immediately conveyed to 

 her apartment, the musicians were silenced, flirting ceased, and the 

 company slowly departed. Dumps left the house at the commence- 

 ment of the bustle, and walked home with a light step, and (for him) 

 a cheerful heart. His landlady, who slept in the next room, has 

 offered to make oath that she heard him laugh, in his peculiar man- 

 ner, after he had locked his door. The assertion, however, is so im- 

 probable, and bears on the face of it such strong evidence of untruth, 

 that it has never obtained credence to this hour. 



The family of Mr. Kitterbell has considerably increased since the 

 period to which we have referred ; he has now two sons and a daugh- 

 ter : and as he expects, at no distant period, to have another addition 

 to his blooming progeny, he is anxious to secure an eligible godfather 

 for the occasion. He is determined, however, to impose upon him 

 two conditions : he must bind himself, by a solemn obligation, not to 

 make any speech after supper ; and it is indispensable that he should 

 be in no way connected with " the most miserable man in the 

 world." 



