THE STATUTES. 391 



dared to leave one of those shining vessels out of its place, or to have 

 hung one an hair's breadth awry, the shrill trebles of " ear-piercing" 

 Mother Ward would have rewarded the misdemeanour by scattering 

 around the opprobrious epithets of " careless skut !" " slovenly 

 hussey!" "dirty trollop!" "saucy trull!" with many other words 

 " of linked sweetness long-drawn out." 



But there they lay, the bright effects of many a heavy hour* 

 scouring, tramped, bruised, soiled, lidless, handleless, and shapeless. 

 The tumult had gradually ceased, shaking of hands had commenced, 

 and many a brow bore the mark of " deeds in battle doomed/' 

 Here a cut cheek had received for a plaster a portion of Pilgrim's 

 Progress, where the way-worn wanderer was climbing up the hill 

 with difficulty. There might be seen a "golden rule" stained on the 

 breach of a broken nose, while many a white shirt-sleeve had caught 

 the colouring of floor-flooding ale, mingled with dust and ashes. 



Such was the scene, when in staggered Jack Straw, rolling drunk, 

 with the Serjeant's cap on, and singing : 



" If I had a beau for a soldier would go, 

 Do you think I'd say no ? 



No, not I ! 



Not a sigh would I draw when his red coat I saw, 

 But an eclat I'd give for his bravery." 



" What, hey you listed, Jack ?" interrogated half-a-dozen voices 

 in as many tones. 



tf I have, my lads/' answered he, singing 



* s And I never will follow the plough-tail again ;" 



" I've listed for an officer, an' if any o' yo's a mind to list we me 

 (hiccup), I'll ge yq a shilling in his Majester's name, an' list you for 

 full-sarjent." 



" You mean full-private," said an old man, who had hitherto sat 

 unobserved in the corner, " you m.ean full-private, same as they'll 

 make you when they get you up to th' regiment. I once listed, 

 thirty years ago, for a colonel, and when I got up to th' regiment, 

 and I told 'em what I'd listed for, they laughed at me, an' says 

 ' you're above a colonel / so I was above one, for he only stood five 

 foot five, an' I stood near upon six foot, so they made me a gre- 

 nadier I" 



'' I don't care," answered Jack Straw, " I took his Majester's 

 money to be an officer (hiccup), an' be one I will, or else I'll not 

 sarve, acceding to th' articles o' war. ( Now/ says I, afore I took 

 th' money, ' sarjent/ says I, ' I list for an officer:' "yes/ says he, 

 'will you be lieutenant, captain, or ensign?' ' Ensign/ says I, an' 

 he took it down on blak an' white : you may go i' th' parlour an' 

 ax him." 



And away we went, John Straw, Ensign, reeling drunk, leading 

 the way. In the parlour all was confusion ; a good-looking rosy- 

 cheeked girl was pulling at the arm of her drunken lover, and ex- 

 claiming " Dinna list, Tommy ; dinna list. O ! yo'll brake my hart : 

 dinna list him, Mr. Soldier." 



" I will list," said the rough rustic ; " give me a shilling to sarve 



