392 THE STATUTES. 



his Majesty, King George; I'm not going to be a clodhopper all 

 my days." 



" I'll not list him while he's tipsy," replied the serjeant, looking 

 unutterable things at the distressed damsel from one corner of his 

 drink-discoloured eye. By the aid of another maiden the drunken 

 swain was led off, and on throwing up the parlour-window I could 

 perceive him and his sweetheart going down the garden, she pro- 

 mising not to see Fred Giles again, upon condition that he was no 

 more to whistle out Squire Thornton's dairy-maid. 



The serjeant still continued exhibiting his long purse, and dwelling 

 upon the happiness of a soldier's life, while many a country bumpkin 

 sat glowing beneath the sunny beams of imaginary glory, and old 

 Mother Ward's sparkling ale. 



" Think but for a moment," exclaimed the serjeant, in the true 

 " Ercles vein," " of being exposed all the day in a hay-field, sweating 

 beneath a scorching sun, until at night you're all as tired as dogs, 

 while the soldier sits in his shady barracks, enjoying ,all manner of 

 happiness sleeping, smoking, or drinking. Then think of the chance 

 of being promoted to an officer ! Beside, there's no work to 

 do ; there's nothing after you've learnt your exercise but to keep 

 yourself clean, and walk about all day like a gentleman. Then 

 there's the bounty, look at that (and down went his heavy purse), 

 then again think of the honour of fighting for your king and 

 country, and if you happen to have your leg shot off (here two or 

 three winced), why you've bread for life, in a good pension. There's 

 prize-money too, and all the honour of saying you've been in such a 

 battle, and if you go abroad, there's wine at a penny a quart, think of 

 that you rogues and you've no horse to look after like a horse-sol- 

 dier, nought but a knapsack and firelock. Who the devil would 

 follow the plough when he can march beneath the glorious colours of 

 the 42nd, to the merry fife and drum ! and have plenty of pretty 

 lasses and money without working for it eh, eh, my brave coun- 

 trymen ?" 



"And who the devil," said the old man, who had one listed for a 

 colonel, " will take thirteen-pence a day to be shot at, eh ? and have 

 about twenty masters over him, eh ? First comes a lance Jack, ( if 

 you don't give me a glass of gin, I'll report you to the corporal ;' 

 then comes the puppy of a corporal, ' if you don't mind I'll lodge a 

 complaint to the serjeant ;' then the serjeant, ' Sir, you'll chance to 

 see the black-hole, if you are not more attentive ;' then there's drill, 

 ' hold your head up, or I'll put you in the awkward-squad ;' then 

 another peeping down your gun-muzzle, and examining you, besides 

 as many sorts of officers as there are weeds in our common. Hey, 

 hey, my lads soldering's all very well to talk about, but you no 

 sooner are one then you've had a bellyfull. Be content where you 

 are ; if you don't like your master now, you can soon get another, 

 but as for promotion, if you ever do get up its to th' holberts where 

 they once promoted me, only for staying out we my lass after th' 

 trumpet had sounded for all in; what d'ye think o' that for pro- 

 motion ?" 



The serjeant muttered something about desertion and back- 



