THE BOAEDING-HOUSE. 4Q1 



" You don't think it's at all an out-of-the-way affair then ?" asked 

 Mr. Septimus Hicks, who had watched the countenance of Tibbs in 

 mute astonishment. 



(( No, Sir/' replied Tibbs; " I was just the same at his age." He 

 actually smiled when he said this. 



" How devilish well I must carry my years !" thought the delighted 

 old beau, knowing he was at least ten years older than Tibbs at that 

 moment. 



" Well, then, to come to the point at once/' he continued, " I have 

 to ask you whether you will object to act as father on the occasion?" 



" Certainly not," replied Tibbs ; still without evincing an atom of 

 surprise. 



" You will not?" 



" Decidedly not/' reiterated Tibbs, who appeared as calm as a pot 

 of porter with the head off. 



Mr. Calton seized the hand of the petticoat-governed little man, 

 and vowed eternal friendship from that hour. Hicks, who was all 

 admiration and surprise, did the same. 



" Now confess," asked Mr. Calton of Tibbs, as he picked up his 

 hat, " were you not a little surprised ?" 



" I b'lieve you !" replied that illustrious person, holding up one 

 hand ; " 1 b'lieve you ! when I first heard of it." 



" So sudden," said Septimus Hicks. 



" So strange to ask me, you know," said Tibbs. 



" So damned odd altogether/' said the superannuated love-mater; 

 and then all three laughed. 



" I say/' said Tibbs, shutting the door which he had previously 

 opened ; and giving full vent to a hitherto corked-up giggle, te what 

 bothers me is, what will his father say?" 



Mr. Septimus Hicks looked at Mr. Calton. 



" Yes ; but the best of it is," said the latter, giggling in his turn, 

 " I haven't got a father he ! he ! he !" 



" You hav'nt got a father. No ; but he has/' said Tibbs. 



" Whn has ?" inquired Septimus Hicks, almost rabid. 



" Why him." 



" Him, who ? Do you know my secret? Do you mean me ?" 



"You! No; you know who I mean," returned Tibbs, with a 

 knowing wink. 



" For Heaven's sake whom do you mean/' inquired Mr. Calton, 

 who, like Septimus Hicks, was all but out of his senses at the strange 

 confusion. 



" Why Mr. Simpson, of course," replied Tibbs ; " who else could 

 I mean ?" 



" I see it all," said the Byron-quoter ; <e Simpson marries Julia 

 Maplesone to-morrow morning !" 



" Undoubtedly," replied Tibbs, thoroughly satisfied; "of course 

 he does." 



It would require the pencil of Hogarth to illustrate our feeble 

 pen is inadequate to describe the expression which the countenances 

 of Mr. Calton and Mr. Septimus Hicks respectively assumed at this 

 unexpected announcement. Equally impossible is it to describe, 



