THE SUBALTERN'S SOLILOQUY 667 



" O, you robbing delegate !" shouted another, at the top of her 



voice, seizing the poor Blacksmith by his tender corderoys ; " d 



you I'll musket-money you, if you come musket-money ing here 

 any more." 



This was the signal for we Gentlemen Delegates to be missing ; 

 for we were now pitched upon, and beaten with every thing that 

 came to hand ; and the rout was complete when we got outside, for 

 then we encountered an enraged multitude in waiting, who pelted us 

 without regard to our rank, as we run from the village of Chill well 

 like scalded cats. 



It was not till we had distanced the village of Chillwell by a good 

 mile, that we could assemble together, and then we walked home, 

 pensively and crest-fallen, swearing that we would never " flare up" 

 again, nor (f join the Union !" T. M. 



THE SUBALTERN'S SOLILOQUY. 



To be or not to be a CAPTAIN, is the question : 



Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer 



The slights and sneering of the well-fed staff, 



Or, by promotion, end them. 



And then to hear the scoffs of rank no more, 



But, once for all, by that important step 



To say we end the thousand daily slights 



A Subaltern is heir to ! 



'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wish'd ! 



But where to find the cash to purchase it, 



When funds are low, and friends look shy and cold ? 



Aye, there's the rub ! for he must raise the wind 



Ere he can taste the dear-bought sweets of rank. 



'Tis this reflection makes 

 The Subaltern to toil ten tedious years ; 

 For who would bear th' impatient thirst of rank, . 

 The pride of conscious merit, and, 'bove all, 

 The tedious formality of guards, 

 When he himself might his promotion get 

 By " posting" in the agent's hands the " cool?" 

 Who would toil and fag, in camp or garrison, 

 Year after year, until some lucky shot 

 Dispatches him to that well-peopled realm, 

 From whose wide bourne no Subaltern returns ? 



Thus poverty makes drudges of us all ; 

 And thus the healthy face of many a Sub 

 Is sicklied o'er by frequent lack of coin ! 

 And enterprises of great fire and spirit, 

 On this account can never gain the step, . 

 Or reach that envied rank ! 



