A Public Dinner. 39 



the loss of either? Never never never! (Loudcheering/which con- 

 tinued some time ; at the end of which Mr. Chairman, to the disap- 

 pointment of his audience, still kept on his legs ) He would now 

 advert to the subject nearest to their hearts the CHARITY ! (Hear, 

 hear, rap, rap !) He would hazard a general assertion ; that of 

 no other branch of the art of healing were the results so practically 

 beneficial to humanity as that of the dentist. (Great excitement ; 

 Thompson, whose eyes had long been closed, opened one.) There 

 was an honesty and plain-dealing in their mode of proceeding, which 

 might be looked for in vain among the medical profession generally. 

 They had no means of living upon an aching tooth ; they could not 

 obtain a life-interest in a set of masticators. If there was roguery 

 and humbug in the profession of medicine, and he did not stand there 

 to deny it, the blame certainly did not lie with them. Let him be 

 understood. " Far be it from me," he continued, " to cast a slur upon 

 that science which, after our own, I have always most revered. I 

 honour medicine, and I love its professors!" Mr. Chairman con- 

 tinued to speak at some length, and closed his eloquent discourse by 

 proposing the health of the ladies who had honoured them with their 

 presence that day. 



All eyes were now turned to the ladies, and as many as could do 

 so conveniently, stood up to do honour to the toast. Little Thompson, 

 grasping the table firmly with one hand, got up, turned himself 

 unfortunately the wrong way, and stood simpering and winking at 

 the drums and trumpets in the opposite gallery. " Hip, hip, hip, 

 hurrah!" cried the little man, when the toast was given, and swing- 

 ing his glass, which he had forgotten to empty, round his head, he 

 lodged its contents safely in the face of his neighbour, who was cast- 

 ing sheep's eyes through his spectacles at some damsel in the distance. 



In playful reference to the Charity somebody now proposed "The 

 grinders of the poor!" a sentiment that was vehemently opposed by 

 Thompson, on the ground that they had had Conservative toasts 

 enough. The proposer explained, and the " grinders" were drank, 

 amidst loud applause, but not altogether to the satisfaction of Mr. 

 Thompson, who was in that state when men are given to " extreme 

 opinions." 



Mr. Chairman now prepared to leave the chair; many of his 

 friends had already left theirs without ceremony, having suddenly 

 disappeared under the table. Thompson's red face was more flagrant 

 than ever, and we left him in the vain attempt to direct the neck of 

 an empty bottle to the mouth of his glass ; while his neighbour was 

 inveterately pouring out his wine upon a glass which some wag had 

 turned upside down. Of the pale-faced man with the stoop, no 

 vestige was to be seen, save his boots, which had taken the vacant 

 place on their master's chair. EGOMET. 



