36 A Public Dinner. 



A slight ferment among the blue sashes and staves ensued, and a 

 loud voice makes itself heard : " Gentlemen will now please to walk 

 in to dinner 1 ." There was no need of the man bawling- out so 

 loud : a whisper to the same effect would have circulated like elec- 

 tricity. A general buzz in the room, however, acknowledged the 

 tidings; and we all proceeded to walk mas desired, except those who 

 were carried in by the crowd, among whom we observed the little 

 man, who came late. Working our way to the upper end of the 

 tables, we were preparing to take our seat at what appeared a con- 

 venient spot, when a card on the convert told us that the place was 

 engaged. Upon this conjuncture we looked around : the punchy 

 man was seated opposite, and apparently smiling at our ignorance. 

 " The vocalists sit there ! " he said, " Come round here ; this is a 

 famous place!" and he pointed to a chair near him. We took his 

 advice and our seat; and after another pause, enlivened by the 

 efforts of two drums, three horns, as many bassoons, and a clarionet, 

 to entertain the company, our worthy Chairman at last marched into 

 the room, supported by his Vice and followed by a host of committee- 

 men and stewards. 



Dinner commenced : the covers were removed. Great excite- 

 ment prevailed. The cry for plates, dishes, glasses, knives, forks, 

 soups, and double-stout, was deafening. Wings of poultry flew about 

 as if alive, corks were drawing with the regularity of platoon-firing. 

 His must indeed have been an abstracted appetite who could eat in 

 such a scene. The efforts we made at this critical juncture to rally 

 our senses and to observe what was going on were prodigious,"and, we 

 trust, praiseworthy; but withal they were unsuccessful. A few loose 

 scraps were all we could gather. The conversation was at first very 

 animated, so much so indeed, that six men within our own hearing 

 committed the same new joke upon the occasion : " Tongues are 

 going very fast; those who want any should look sharp!" Here 

 was one man taking a bird's-eye view of the whole table, and fixing 

 on a dish of poultry at the further end. His plenipotentiary takes 

 ten minutes about the affair, mistakes his errand, and brings some- 

 thing else. Another embassy succeeds, and the result, a drum-stick 

 and a picked breast-bone. " How long have you sported epaulets, 

 Thompson?" said some one to our little fat figure of a man. " What 

 do you mean, ha, what's this? white grease butter melted 

 butter best coat damnation ! Waiter, how dare you spill melted 

 butter over me ? " " Me ! Sir first time I 've been this way; but I'll 

 enquire who it was that really done it : sure to let you know, Sir." 

 " Never mind, Thompson," said his friend, " have new arm put 

 in only twelve shillings fun, Sir, sport !" " Fun ! " said the indig- 

 nant Thompson, " perhaps you would like a tureen-full of such fun ! 

 And now who's took my wine?" "Your wine, Sir, eh, ten 

 thousand pardons really mistake your wine for mine. Will you 

 do me the favour to help yourself from my bottle ? " and the delin- 

 quent, by way of enforcing his invitation, carefully held his wine 

 just one inch out of the ill-starred Thompson's reach. 



