218 Notes of the Month. 



at midnight. The people, properly so called, are essentially distinct from the 

 class of beings from whom the Tories deduce their estimate of the masses. 

 The drunken Helots who shout the praises of a boroughmonger at election 

 time are not the people ; the servile hounds who crouch beneath the feet of 

 officials are not the people ; no, and still less are officials themselevs the peo- 

 ple. And what do Tories know of Englishmen apart from these samples ? 

 A landholder, who, because he can affright his tenants into submission to his 

 will, thinks he can terrify or cajole multitudes out of their independence, 

 knows no more of the true character of his countrymen than one of Astley's 

 riders knows of fox-hunting. The bespangled gentleman can make his steed 

 prance in correct time to every flourish of Rossini, but a solitary note from a 

 whipper-in would prove an impassable bar to both horse and chevalier. We 

 know sundry aspirants for senatorial notoriety will be starting up in the House, 

 and prating about the spread of conservatism among the lower orders, because 

 some half-dozen gallons of beer have been swallowed by working men, at a few 

 bemused Tories' expense. We can plainly foresee that loquacity on this head 

 will become a complete nuisance, and would recommend as a stopper that 

 every person who uses the words " operative conservative" be compelled to 

 produce a specimen of the genus, or to explain the meaning of the phrase. 

 If he can do so, then shall we have discovered the rationale of nonsense. 



MOTES IN OUR NEIGHBOURS' EYES AND BEAMS IN OUR OWN. It ap- 

 pears that one Major Noah, editor of the " Evening Star," New York paper, 

 speaking of Miss Tree, says, " We were struck with the pure pronunciation of 

 Miss Tree, which is that of the English tongue, as spoken by an American in 

 good society." The Tory journalists are marvellously tickled at the cool 

 assurance of the transatlantic brother, and certainly his self-satisfaction is 

 indicated in a manner altogether slick to use the Mississippi vernacular. 

 But the wonderment of those critics so easily excited by the harmless follies of 

 others, is ever dormant at the antics of their own compatriots, though the 

 whole world beside may be astounded thereat. When the Duke of Cumber- 

 land said that he would not walk to one of the windows of the House of 

 Lords to gain popularity, the Orange scribes clapped their hands in ecstacy at 

 the absurdity, as though it were a dictum of Solomon's; as if every one'did 

 not know that were his grace to wear out half-a-dozen pair of Hobby's 

 bluchers in trotting after the commodity he affects to despise, a pennyworth 

 of gingerbread would be more than equivalent to the result of his labours. 

 When Wellington handed the premiership to the currency dabbler, the eulo- 

 gists of his grace talked of his disinterestedness. They might as well have 

 talked of a shark's disinclination to raw beef with a hook. But what need 

 to multiply instances of Tory hallucinations? The poor bedlamites who in- 

 sist that they are lollipops are entitled to our pity as long as such belief keeps 

 them passive ; but when they proceed to surfeit us with sweets by forcing 

 themselves down our throats, we confess our philanthropy would not stomach 

 such endearments, nor do we envy the man who would regard them as a joke. 



MILITIA TAILORING. We had thought that the Virginia Water Neptune's 

 military patching fooleries had fallen into desuetude, but we perceive that his 

 successor has taken to swallow-tailing the militia or effecting some equally 

 nonsensical alteration in the bedizenment of that already sufficiently tailorised 

 force. Just fancy the Home Office resounding with the din of folding, super- 

 scribing, and despatching to every lord lieutenant of every country in the 

 empire bulletins, intimating that " his majesty has been pleased to command 

 that the uniform of the officers of the Militia of the United Kingdom shall in 

 future be laced in silver, and that the officers of such regiments as are royal 

 shall wear, by way of distinction, silver embroidery instead of lace." 



We believe there are one hundred and twenty-nine regiments of militia, and 

 of these there are thirty-nine royal. Well, what may we not expect will be 

 the consequences of this distinction of embroidery from lace ? Can his ma- 



