The Baron Court of Little Brought-in. 365 



it is more right than the other side ; Tightest, which means that the 

 sides are still more unlike ; and all right, which means that all the 

 right is on the one side. There are many more curious usages of 

 language in the court, as, for instance, they call a man who says 

 nothing a "speaker," and cry "hear, hear," always when they are 

 resolved not to hear one word. But, in order to understand half the 

 singular phrases that are used in the court, one would require to turn 

 Lindley Murray inside out, just as is said to be sometimes done with 

 the tongues of the members. But we must revert to the style of 

 right honourable, which, being an addition, makes him who wears it 

 something else than an honourable gentleman. 



Well, there is a great euphony in the sound of " right honour- 

 able," and yet there is no addition acquired with less trouble; in fact, 

 it is often a relief for a man to get it. A member of the court has 

 nothing else to do than, upon an occasion of pressing necessity, to 

 get into the baron's privy-council ; and ever after he is " right 

 honourable" all the days of his life. The baron of course laughs in 

 his sleeve at this, but it natters the vanity of the clod-hoppers, and 

 makes them fag with the power and the patience of mules. 



" Sir" is the next " grade" in the ascent, but it does not count 

 in the court. The word is of doubtful origin, having, as it is 

 said, been bestowed by a facetious Baron on a joint of beef both 

 " before" and " after," with the adjunct " loin" in the one case, and 

 " reverentia" in the other. The mode of getting it is, however, a 

 little curious. The person who wishes to have it goes to some of the 

 cooks or scullions, who pin a three-cornered piece of an old apron 

 like a bib under his chin, with the long corner hanging down his 

 breast. Then they send him to a narrow gallery through which the 

 baron is to pass, there to squelch down on his marrow-bones till the 

 baron comes. If the baron conies hop-skip-and-jump, and goes clean 

 over the expectant, then the latter gathers himself up, and sneaks off 

 by the back-door as if his nose were bleeding. But, if the baron, 

 who always carries a cudgel upon great occasions, gives him a bang 

 on the rump with the cudgel, and says " Get up, Sir, out of my way," 

 the man is " Sir" from that instant, and may say that he is so in 

 the face of the assembled world. 



More than this may be done, and made to last till doomsday. If 

 the baron takes out his knife and whacks off the long corner of the 

 bib, it is a special mark of favour, and the man with the cut bib is 

 called a " baronet" which means a " little baron." If, farther than 

 this, the baron gives him the cut end of the bib, and a leaf of the 

 paper in common use there, and lets him into the privy-council, the 

 man is entitled to the style of " right honourable baronet," which 

 makes him really something in the eyes of the Baron Court. 



The other names or additions, on account of which the wearers 

 plume themselves so much in the court and all over the barony, are 

 got nearly in the same ludicrous manner, and when the baron has lifted 

 a batch of them " sky-high," he does so chuckle over it that nobody 

 ever heard the like. And really it is a very amusing sight to see 

 full-grown men, competent (if they had skill enough) to hold a plough 



