368 The Baron Court of Little Brought-in. 



large hamlet. He went with a friend to see the sights at a fair, and 

 among the rest there was a " half-shaved bear," which the showman 

 was describing as " Ha monstraceous uge hanimal from the banks of 

 the Horinoccar hin the hinterior of the dessert of Sarah, in Hafricar, 

 which no man had never seen hat no time, before nor hafter. The 

 Horinoccar, Lays and Gemmen, swarms with Korkindales, has big 

 has logs, and this here hanirnal cracks 'em like shrimps." " My eyes," 

 said the overseer, "I'm blest if that ar'nt the CONSTITUTION. No- 

 body has never set eyes on the constitution since Earl Badger and 

 Lord Burkham knocked an eye-tooth out of its head years bygone, 

 though Sir Tricksby made mouths and the Duke shook his fist in their 

 faces all the time. Doctor Shearhog says to me, says he, we were 

 having a sum mat at the Hog and Hassock, to put all square about the 

 young 'un but mum as to that, says he, " Muggins," says he, 

 " You are a real out-and-out conservationary conservative," and I 

 bobs down my head, till smack comes iny conk on the oak table, and 

 out comes the claret. " Bravo ! Muggins," says the doctor, "shed- 

 ding your blood in the good cause," and with that he whips out his 

 handkercher, as bright as a sovereign. "That's the colour that pays 

 for blood," says he, and sure enough my conk was staunched in a mo- 

 ment. " I takes courage," and says, " Doctor," says I, " what 's the 

 constitution?" " I never saw it," says he, " it don't come out now, and 

 so the Redcaps are running about gaping like Korkindales (I'm sure 

 he said Korkindales), to swallow up the church and the baron's 

 kitchen, steeples, spits, and all ; but when the constitution had all its 

 teeth, it cracked the Korkindales (I'm certain he said Korkindales 

 again) like nuts." " Now though Dr. Shearhog said * nuts,' and this 

 here man says * shrimps,' yet both on 'em say 'cracks,' and both on 'em 

 say ' Korkindales;' and thus it is as plain as B, A, C, that this is the 

 constitution. So I'll get the doctor to get Sir Tricksby Tailabout 

 and Lord Lyeandareit, to see it with their own eyes; and then, think 

 you they will not be down upon the Muttons like a pair of cleavers?" 

 The friend nodded ; but hiatus valde deflendus. 



The overseers are not now so much to a man on the side of the 

 Porks as they once were. After Lords Badger and Burkham had 

 knocked out the eye-tooth of the constitution, the bite was all upon 

 the one side ; and the Muttons got the whip hand, and, as was sup- 

 posed, the ear of the baron. Upon this, one of the scullions, by 

 some means or other, got the use of the flute, and went siffling about 

 the kitchen to scare the Muttons from the broken meat, and prevent 

 them from injuring the regular beggars. But the Muttons did not 

 seem to mind the broken meat this- time, though one or two got 

 bones, which had been pretty well picked before. 



But the Muttons were tf at their tricks" in another way. They 

 got the Court to issue what they called a " new Parish pill." The 

 "pills" of the Court were once terribly drastic; but they are 

 milder now that the Gambouge of which the Muttons don't like 

 the colour, has been left out. This pill, all the wardens, overseers, 

 vestrymen, and clerks were commanded to bolt forthwith ; and, as 

 the Baron Court will not be gainsaid, down it went. The wardens, 

 and so on> turned as white as sheets ; and the clerks retched and 



