Asmodeus and the Incognito. 399 



" But where shall we direct our course ? " asked Asmodeus. 



" Wherever you like," replied I, " provided we avoid all places 

 where either the cholera or the influenza are raging, because I have 

 a mortal dread of the doctors, who, in my opinion, are almost as 

 dangerous as^" 



" Hush, hush ! " interrupted Asmodeus, " I know that you are no 

 great friend of the medical faculty ; in fact, you are not wrong. 

 Individually the doctors envy, undermine, and hate each other; but, 

 as body, they generally combine all their influence in order to 

 crush any man who openly dares either to impugn the respectability, 

 or to unmask the baseness of even the worst of their profession. 

 Do you know the difference between a doctor and an assassin? " 



"I do riot," said I. 



" Well, learn it from me," quoth Asmodeus. " The assassin first 

 murders a man, and then strips him of all he possesses. The doctor 

 first plunders his patient, and then kills him with perfect impunity, 

 while the assassin often loses his life for his horrible deed. In my 

 company, however, don't apprehend any harm whatsoever either from 

 the doctors or their nostrums. Take this box of lozenges, they pos- 

 sess the power which Morison's pills are puffed off for ; they really 

 cure all diseases, and are a certain preventive against every infec- 

 tion." 



" If I can rely on your word," quoth I." 



"What? what?" said Asmodeus rather angrily. Do you doubt 

 my word ? Have you taken me for a diplomatist, or a parliamentary 

 candidate ? Do you think I am a mortal ? " 



" I beg your pardon," resumed I very humbly, but I have been 

 so often decoyed and deceived by false premises, that, at present, I 

 suspect " 



" Suspect a fiddlestick," interrupted Asmodeus. " I know that 

 you have met with ungrateful and deceitful beings ; but you have 

 been a great fool in trusting to them : are you still such a simple- 

 ton as to forget that you mortals are continually deceiving each 

 other ? But, notwithstanding that his very name means deceiver, a 

 devil is an honourable being, and always fulfils his promises. Those 

 who styled us deceivers, were interested impostors, and have suc- 

 ceeded in rendering a great portion of mankind ignorant, supersti- 

 tious, and their slaves. Once for ever I tell you, that I am and 

 will be your friend ; let us therefore begin our excursion ;" and, in 

 saying so, Asmodeus opened the window, whistled, and, behold, in- 

 stantaneously a conico-cylindrical boat, of the most pellucid crystal, 

 was ready to receive us ; it was supported by four winged monsters 

 with enormous tails. Asmodeus stepped in first, and bade me fol- 

 low. I did so, but not without much apprehension. Asmodeus, 

 perceiving my agitation, said, " Must I get truly angry with you ? 

 Fear not, trust me, and you shall sail through the skies, and travel in 

 the middle of cities without the least danger. Nay, from this instant 

 you may at your option be visible or invisible to the rest of the 

 world ; take this telescope, by means of which you will be able to 

 see through clouds and fogs, and even through the thickest walls of 

 kingly and princely palaces/' 



