60 The Tax-Gatherer. [JAN. 



there is also thunder in their rustling. Hard lot to be deemed thus 

 terrible, both in person and in agents. We feel for the Tax-gatherer ; 

 we feel for the slights which are put upon him, the ready white He which 

 is hourly served up to him. Even infants that can scarcely stammer, 

 the mere babes of the poor housekeeper, are taught to note his person 

 well to become deeply acquainted with his coat and gaiters, in order to 

 give the " not at home " without error or prevarication. 



But, say our readers and doubtless feelingly they say a day of 

 reckoning does come. Truly, it does ; but the Tax-gatherer is almost 

 the only man to whom the taking of money is not altogether a pleasur- 

 able process. Alas, the coin told into his hand awakens no delirious 

 throb which, communicating with the neighbouring arteries, by some 

 means (we are no anatomist) arrives at the heart, and awakens that 

 internal music, which the eyes and mouth of a plodding dealer frequently 

 indicate to be stirring within him. The payment is too often embittered 

 by comment ; whilst counting out the money, there are some grievous 

 interpolations. It may be, too, that he is the unwilling hearer of divers 

 snatches of sentences, which an ill-minded man might brand as disaf- 

 fected, nay, as being dwarf cousin-germans to the blood-streaked giant, 

 Treason. Perhaps he has to deal with a sturdy old gentleman, who has 

 magnanimously kept up a consistent growl against all parties, for the 

 last forty years ; a man, of substance, but close withal : one who 

 was never guilty of any shew or extravagance, save in the binding of the 

 nine hundred volumes of Mr. Cobbett in extra-calf. Must we not sym- 

 pathize with the poor Tax-gatherer as the servant, closing the door, 

 leaves him closetted with this antiquated malcontent? Why does not 

 Wilkie strike off such a scene ? Let us fancy the man of office a thin 

 (thin men of office are, we allow, anomalies) meagre, unassuming per- 

 sonhis antagonist, rotund and red-faced : the first recognizing glance 

 of the parties is, with the short, fitful grunt of the householder, worth 

 all the remainder of the meeting. It is not to be supposed that the 

 official visitor quits this house with feelings too much pampered with 

 kindness and courtesy. His next interview may be with some bitter- 

 witted wight, marvellously deep in history ; who, to while away the 

 time whilst the receipt is being written, asks our humble revenue officer, 

 if he ever heard of Wat Tyler ? and then, without waiting for a reply, 

 adds, " he was a blacksmith, and with his hammer once knocked out the 

 brains of a Tax-gatherer" at the same time looking our subject full in 

 the face, to discover whether sympathy for the departed, or a feeling of 

 self-preservation preponderates. 



There- are, to be sure, a few bright moments in the practice of our 

 Tax-gatherer. Some of these may be in his visit to a rare old lady, 

 whose husband was loyal to the very eye-brows, and who was, in some 

 way or other, disposed of for the benefit of his country or perhaps her 

 great-grandfather was footman at the palace, or breeches-maker to one 

 of the young princes. These persons are, however, we grieve to record 

 it, rare as unicorns. Our Tax-gatherer is also, in some few places, con- 

 sulted as next to the newspaper the greatest oracle. Some quiet, 

 lone, political widow, who has little else to do but to keep her eye on 

 the movements of Messrs. Peel, Huskisson, and Canning, holds no mean 

 opinion of our subject : this loquacious dame always dives into the very 

 depths of finance, and perforce takes our Tax-gatherer along with her. 

 After buffeting with him all the conflicting billows of our home and 



