J827.] War; its Uses. 5.5 



pitals. Why should our tombs be " the maws of crows and kites ?" 

 Far more honourable would be a sepulchre in the enemy's body. On the 

 principles of political economy, the present system is bad. Consider the 

 quantity of produce that is wasted : the quantity of beef and bread con- 

 sumed to rear animals, only that you may afterwards kill and bury them ! 



The truth is, that Signer FIFTEEN takes occasional fits of retrogra- 

 dation ; or is wiser in certain places than in others : in times and places 

 both. He had more sense at thirteen than he has now somewhat more 

 still at ten or I am much mistaken. He sentimentalizes, here and 

 there, and now and then, which is abundantly silly ; as if war was not 

 war. Bless my soul I when he had invented gunpowder, he had just 

 touched the point of perfection ; and, like a fool, he has surrendered all 

 the advantages. 



Defenceless women and children ! forsooth that is the cant. Why, 

 the very beauty of a place is to be defenceless ; because we march into 

 it. When he was ten, among the Jews, he understood these things 

 better. Think of the convenience of getting women and children for 

 nothing of getting slaves without sending to Sierra Leone for them, 

 and having to squabble with Mr. Wilberforce and Mr. Macaulay. No 

 wages, no month's warning, no mutinies in the kitchen and the servants' 

 hall. Think, Sir, what noble opportunities we have lost; all the conse- 

 quences of losing sight of the first principles of just, glorious, and ne- 

 cessary war. 



There is no end of the follies of OLD FIFTEEN ; but let us look a 

 little after his wisdoms ; for, heaven be praised, there is always a com- 

 pensation of good and evil in him, whether he is making war or love- 

 laws or leather breeches. Think of full pay, bat and forage-money, 

 rations, two horses, an orderly, coals and candles, wine allowance, and 

 all the delights of glorious reviews, glorious quarters, glorious wine ! 

 Dear OLD FIFTEEN, I hope you will soon begin again to the old work ; 

 to be the admiration, the delight, of the dear, dear sex, to carry them 

 off from all competition by means of a red rag and an ounce of gold 

 bullion. To be tailored at once, in an hour, into a gentleman, a soldier, 

 and a man of honour to have nothing to do good Lord! I should 

 never have done. 



And war it is that brings us taxes : and what should we do but for 

 taxes ? are they not the spur to industry, the stimulus to commerce, 

 the reward of the brave, the cause of the circulation of money which is 

 nothing when it stagnates the estate of tax-gatherers, and the ex- 

 chequer, and the custom-house, and the excise office, and the tax 

 office, and the stamp office, and all the offices and officers ? And are 

 not taxes the absolute produce of war ? Do they ever flourish as they 

 flourish in war ? 



Not to speak of the necessity of diplomacy ; and what need should 

 we have of diplomacy, without war? And diplomatists they could not 

 enjoy themselves with twelve thousand a year and a service of plate, 

 and a pension of four thousand, if there was no diplomacy ? and there 

 could be no diplomacy if there was no war. 



And then what would Lord Palmerston do if there was no War-office ? 

 and all the clerks ; to say nothing of Mr. Barrow, and Mr. Croker, and 

 the Admiralty, and the Navy-board, and the rest of it. Why, Sir, OLD 

 FIFTEEN would fall to pieces ; he would pine, languish, melt clown, fuse 

 away to nothing the order of things would be subverted. 



