54? War: its Uses. [JAN. 



honour is the man who imagines that every body means to insult him : 

 who is always on the watch, therefore, for an affront ; and who never 

 forgives till he has washed it out in his enemy's blood. That is what 

 I call true honour ; and if a man of this noble spirit happens to 

 make a little slip of the tongue, he defends it with his life, as a man of 

 honour ought. Is not this the way, too, that my friend Lady Mary's 

 OLD FIFTEEN makes war ? And how shall young Fifteen learn what is 

 right and honourable, if he does not begin with boxing ? 



Now, Sir, it is another great merit of the system of boxing, that it 

 tries the spirit of a fellow. A little boy comes from his mamma's apron- 

 string, and we try him by means of the big lads, who are reposing on 

 their well-earned laurels. He is boxed all round ; pitted against the 

 steady hands ; and we learn to know his calibre and his bottom : we fit 

 him for promotion and prepare him for the army for the reality of war. 

 Nothing is ta be done with such a fellow unless you thrash him well, 

 particularly if he is a Lord : and another great advantage is, that the 

 emeriti, the big boys, have the pleasure of seeing how he stands it. How 

 should they learn to delight in carnage, else ; and what would OLD 

 FIFTEEN do if they did not ? 



How are boys to settle their quarrels, if they do not box ? No more 

 than OLD FIFTEEN can, without gunpowder. And why does OLD FIF- 

 TEEN quarrel ? Why, to be sure, because he knows that his arsenals 

 are well filled, and his men well drilled. Depend upon it, Sir, that 

 personage never thinks of quarreling unless he can bear it out. There 

 is just the beauty of boxing ! It makes young Fifteen quarrelsome ; 

 and how would the world get on without quarreling, I should be pleased 

 to know? It has never done that yet. Nay, how would OLD FIFTEEN 

 get on without bullying ? Did not England bully Copenhagen ? Napo- 

 leon bully Spain and the Pope ? Does not Leadenhall-street bully all 

 India ? Are not Lady Amherst and Dr. Abel bullying the Birman 

 empire ? 



And here is another advantage of boxing, in young Fifteen, Mr. 

 Editor : if makes a coward pass for a boy of courage ; and, consequently, 

 he learns to do the same when he is a man. 



But I shall dismiss young Fifteen, because I am afraid of becoming lengthy. 

 As to OLD FIFTEEN, what we shall do when he comes to fifty, heaven 

 only knows ! Promotion is slow enough as it is ; heaven forbid that he 

 should ever live to be eighty ; for then, indeed, will Othello's occupa- 

 tion vanish. 



But he does some foolish things in the midst of his wisdom. Let 

 Lady Mary sift out the good and the bad, as she can best : that is her 

 affair ; I give you my commentaries in the lump. One mighty foolish 

 thing that cannot be denied is, that he does not every where follow 

 the same rule that he does in New Zealand. Only consider how the 

 roads are cut up with those cursed bullocks : look at the rascally drivers, 

 and thieves of peasants, and the infernal broad wheeled waggons, ham- 

 pering the passage of our guns, and all the tag-rag and bobtail of com- 

 missaries' clerks. Many a good victory does he lose every day, be- 

 cause the country has been cleared and the supplies cannot come up. 

 The enemy should be eaten. 



Beat him first, and eat him afterwards. And consider how a man 

 would fight when he saw his dinner before him ! the reward of his 

 victory I Only consider an army without incumbrances ; not even hos- 



