1827.] War .-its Uses. 53 



pains, its deformities, its gains, its losses, its? Heavens! there is no 

 end to the categories. I guess that I have not time to be so lengthy. 

 Besides, the Aristotelian logic is apt to be inconvenient to us, degene- 

 rated dogs of these evil days, who have not learnt how to dance horn- 

 pipes in fetters. Pray, Mr. Editor, allow us to reason and arrange in 

 our more gentleman-like modern ways ! 



The beauty of boxing is plain and palpable. Crimson is the most 

 beautiful colour in the rainbow, in the first place. A black eye pro- 

 duces variety in the human face divine ; and variety, all the world 

 knows, is one of the great sources of beauty. Consult Burke, if there 

 is any doubt. Besides, have not all the poets written about black eyes ? 

 Had not Juno black eyes even when there were no boxing matches ? 

 Ask Homer. Read the Koran : you will find that the houris (dear 

 creatures ! I wish I had a few) had black eyes. " Eyes of the gazelle," 

 (not the gazette, Mr. Compositor,) says Lord Byron : ofyhe antelope, 

 says another : stag's eyes, says a third. Black eyes, says Solomon ; 

 black eyes, says Hafiz. Look at Spain look at Italy as well as 

 Persia : do not they even make their eyes black like the boys at Eton ? 

 It is a hollow case. 



Such is the beauty of boxing. But that is the physical beauty : 

 there is a moral beauty, besides, in the institution. 



The boxings of the young fools of fifteen, are typical of events to 

 come : they serve also for the education and organization of the old fool 

 of FIFTEEN. Who shall doubt the moral beauty of boxing, when it 

 levels a lord with a link-boy, a duke with the driver of a stage coach ? 

 Men are born equal by nature ; aristocracy is a tyranny : abas le tyran ! 

 Teach him to box, at Eton ; send him to the Fives Court ; conduct him 

 to Crib, and Molyneux, and the Chicken, that he may learn to respect 

 the rights of man. 



Perhaps, Sir, you think that I am jesting ? I never was more serious 

 in my life. I say, Sir, that the moral beauty of boxing consists in its 

 being generative of courage ; and I sincerely hope that it will never be 

 abolished at least not till OLD FIFTEEN gives up war-making. I 

 assure you, Sir, upon my honour, that I served in the Peninsula, and 

 that the only men of honour and spirit in the army were the Eton men ; 

 at least they topped the whole though we had some good officers, too, 

 from the other great schools. But as sure, Sir, as you saw a fellow 

 ducking in action, making himself snug under a merlon, or sideling along 

 by a hedge, you would have found that he was brought up at a country 

 school. There was one regiment, Sir, where every officer ran away, 

 and left the men drawn up in face of the French : I found ten 

 of them, Sir, hid in a gravel pit. Every man of them had been at 

 private schools. I dare say they never boxed in their lives. One of our 

 Eton lads, Sir, rallied the men, and led them on by himself. The fact 

 speaks volumes as they say. 



Well, Sir, does it not follow that no man can have any courage who 

 has not been well boxed and boxed well ? What if you kill a stupid 

 fellow, now and then ? that shews game, Sir, game on both sides. And 

 then the young Fifteens get accustomed to the sight of blood ; which, 

 let me tell you, Sir, is a very good thing. 



It is another great advantage of boxing that it makes boys quarrelsome 

 and honourable : that is, tender of their honour susceptible. What 

 would an officer be without his honour ? The true man of spirit and 



