Lclier on Affairs in general. 73 



this writer's wit (as an Irishman would say) is all sugar. But " Dr 

 Crotch," and the " helm," and the " tyros," enable us to conclude " tro- 

 pically " (as Lord Hamlet calls it), which, in a poetical style, is apposite 

 and judicious, 



Our admiration, too, is not confined to the " Academy of Music :" on 

 the contrary, at Drury Lane, it appears, by the same paper, that " The 

 delectable Stephens made her first appearance last night !" 



And even at the " Adelphi," we learn " the receipts of the first four 

 nights of the * Flying Dutchman ' have exceeded those of ' The Pilot /' 

 The disappearance of the Phantom-ship is nightly accompanied by the 

 cheers of the audience /" who appear presently to consist, among others, 

 of " the Countess of Howth, the Marchioness of Sligo ? the Marquis 

 Clanricarde, Lord Blaney," &c. &c. I rather think, myself, that the 

 " Flying Dutchman " must have^cmm away for I never see him now 

 in the bills ; but, to be sure, I never look which may account, for it. 



Christmas-Day has passed over ; and we are in the season when the 

 streets are impassable with crowds of urchins, clad in their " best clothes," 

 and come to " make HOME hideous" for what are called the " holidays." 

 God knows ! the schoolmasters, I believe, are the only people who find 

 the six weeks after the 20th of December a holiday ! It is quite impossi- 

 ble to endure the infliction, I think, of children that is to say, of BOYS ~ 

 I don't dislike GIRLS ; but I would as soon be left in a room alone with a 

 rattle-snake as with a boy of ten years old ! I was obliged to call at a friend's 

 house, about four days ago, who lives a few miles out of town ; and, be- 

 fore I could get from the lower gate, though I kept the straight path, 

 through the shrubbery, I felt myself seized by the tail of my coat ; and a 

 voice like a penny trumpet in fits yelled out, " You shall DRAW me in 

 that cart /"the house-dog had refused to do it already ! By the way, 

 it may be as well to mention now I am speaking of Christmas that 

 those persons are in error who buy turkies too large or too fat. Poultry 

 should be full of flesh, but never^/ta . the fat of all fowls is both unplea- 

 sant and unwholesome. And nota beneifyou are ill at this season, 

 there is no occasion to send for the doctor only stop eating. Indeed, 

 upon general principles, it seems to me to be a mistake for people, every 

 time there is any little thing the matter with them, to be running in such 

 haste for the " doctor ;" because, if you are going to die, a doctor can't 

 help you ; and, if you are not there is no occasion for him. 



There is no suiting all interests in a great metropolis like this. Crowded 

 streets, which passengers curse, make fortunes to the shopkeepers who 

 live in them ; and what would comfort him who rides a-horseback, he 

 who walks a-foot like Macheath's second wife " would take ill." But 

 it is hard that those who ride a-horseback are not agreed even among 

 themselves. I spoke with a hackney-coachman the other day, who was 

 driving me down the Haymarket* ov er the stones; and asked his " most 

 exquisite reason " why he did not go down Waterloo-place, over the 

 IVIeAdam? His choice astonished me the more, because I would rather 

 myself drive a valuable horse four miles over the McAdam than three 

 over the stones, and I know I should shake him less : he would last 

 longer, and keep sounder on his feet, at such a rate of work. But the 

 rogue nonsuited me in a moment, when I put this point to him. Ne 

 sutor / Men are apt to know their oivn business better than ve give 

 them credit for. His answer was, " that the draught was lighter over the 



M.M. New Series^-Voi.111. No.13. L 



