158 LncA and Ill-LucL [FEB. 



provided that I was in a condition to inherit, at the same time, his fortune 

 and his practice, 1 became a physician to oblige my uncle, as I had be- 

 come a lawyer to oblige my father. In my new profession, I just knew 

 as much as entitled me to put on the medical robe ; I knew what I had 

 learned nothing more : and every innovation appeared to me a sacrilege. 

 You should not wonder, then, that I was indignant on seeing you touch the 

 very ark of our profession, and I darted my prediction of death against 

 your patient as an anathema. The grape-stone gave me a triumph, but 

 did not dazzle me nevertheless ; for my uncle having died about this time, 

 I inherited his fortune, gave up his practice, and resolved to pass the re- 

 mainder of my life in that dolce far niente, which was the only object of 

 my indolent ambition. 



" My agent a man honest enough, considering his situation placed 

 my capital in commerce, and made a very fair profit upon it for us both ; 

 I got my share, and did not complain of his. Your unlucky worm might 

 certainly have assisted me in getting off my commodities; but, as I cannot 

 plead guilty to conspiring with it, I am not called on for my defence on 

 this point. Years rolled on, and idleness was becoming burthensome, and 

 I accordingly determined to travel. Veracious travellers and most pecu- 

 liarly inspired poets had informed me, that the East was the empire of 

 roses and beauty ; and as 1 happened to like very much both pretty flowers 

 and pretty women, I set out for Persia, after having read over again my 

 travellers, my poets, and the Arabian Nights, that I might be quite informed 

 on the manners and customs of the countries which I was to traverse. On 

 getting there, however, I found few roses, and no women but, in their 

 stead, general misery, terror in every face, and continual massacres be- 

 tween the Usbecks and the Persians. Kouli Khan, otherwise called Nadir 

 Shah, was then in the height of his renown ; and I fled before his arms, 

 which were ravaging every thing as they went along. I arrived among the 



^dependent Tartars, who at first determined on cutting off my nose and 

 ears but having perceived on my left cheek a wart, which they consider 

 as a certain presage of good fortune, they changed their views, and ap- 

 pointed me commarider-in-chief of the troops which they were assembling 

 to second the efforts of Nadir against Russia. 



- " My dear Monsieur Pigafet, you know as well as I do the event of that 

 campaign ; but you do not know that I, who am not gifted with a very 

 warlike disposition, thought of nothing from the beginning of the action but 

 to save myself from all risk, and turned my bridle to run away. A part 

 of my troops, filled with confidence in my wart, followed all my motions, 

 and galloped after me into a little grove of palm-trees; where, by the great- 

 est chance in the world, we surprised your fine ambuscade, who did not 

 expect us. They had surrendered at the moment when that terrible cloud 

 of dust drove us back again to the field of battle, where we found you in 

 the greatest disorder, one part of your troops fighting against the other. We 

 let you amuse yourselves in this way for some time, and then easily 

 despatched you. I was brought back in triumph by ray Tartars, loud in 

 the praises of my valour and my wart. 



" I got my share of the plunder; but tired with glory, as I had been 

 with idleness, I left my Tartars, and visited the north of Europe. 1 mar- 

 ried, as you know, a charming woman in Germany, who fell in love with 

 me for no other reason but because I was a Frenchman. Your hasty quar- 

 rel with her had made a noise ; slander was beginning to be busy with the 

 affair, and she was getting frightened : but you had been only a short time 



