J 72 War: its limes. [APRIL, 



I said, Mr. Editor, that a nation ought to make war on another which 

 possesses gold or cinnamon ; because it likes cinnamon and gold too, and 

 because every person ought to try to get what he likes. And I said also, 

 that one nation ought to make war on a strong nation, partly that it may 

 try to take the strong nation's goods, and partly lest the strong nation 

 should seize on its goods. But these are not half the reasons why. Rich 

 nations are apt to be proud riche etfi^re as Venice chose to be once 

 as England chooses to be at present. Now, pride is a bad thing, and ought 

 to be put down. Put it down, by all means: a nation has no business to 

 be richer than its neighbours nor a man neither. Put them all down. 



Then, if extending a boundary to the next degree of latitude, and so on 

 to the next, is most reasonable cause of war, it is much more availing to 

 desire to possess all Europe, or all America. This happens when the spirits 

 mount aloft, in kings, as a predecessor of mine has observed ; and it suc- 

 ceeds well, unless a priest or a conjurer should interpose, and let them 

 out by another road. 



To want the whole world, is a better reason still ; because, being a 

 wider cause, it lasts longer. This is a secret that has thriven well, on 

 various occasions. Kin^s or republics, it is all one except that the kingly 

 project may be ended over a bottle ; and it is difficult to make a whole 

 republic dead drunk. 



If you should have a large family that you want to provide for, it is 

 proper to conquer estates for them. Your grandson has no house to live in. 

 for example : he wants one ; or a better one, because the old one is bad ; 

 arid his neighbour's is very convenient. Lodge him in it ; kill half of your 

 own people in pleading the suit, and half of his intended ones in defending 

 the house ; the advantage of which is, that, when he gets into his new 

 lodgings, he finds it half in ruins, and all the world wishing him at the 

 devil, as do those who broke open the doors for him. 



There is a certain utensil called a crown a thing somewhat larger than 

 what is called a star, but made of much the same materials. Now it is 

 very pleasant to give pretty little toys to your friends, on the Jour de fan, 

 or on your own birth-day, or so on. As a crown is a bigger thing than a 

 star, so it is much pleasanter to give away and, as some people think, to 

 receive also. But as you cannot give what you have not got, you must 

 buy it first. You can buy one, perhaps, with about a million of lives, 

 more or less, and some hundred or two of millions of livres sterling : 

 another may cost somewhat less ; and this is a very good expedient 

 because, perhaps, the other people do not choose to sell, and so the bar- 

 gain takes more time to settle. 



And then, when the gift is given, the receiver turns tail as this class is 

 apt to be ungrateful ; or other persons are jealous ; or the utensil does not 

 fit the place it was intended for; or it tumbles off, or is pulled off; or the 

 man gets tired of it: and so, in various ways, one trouble makes many 

 more : whence this is a prolific and an admirable reciept for war. 



If another man takes it into his head to build ships, you must fall upon 

 him at once : burn his ships burn his towns burn him ! What right had 

 he with ships ? Make him beg pardon for his impertinence ; and, if he 

 will not, you know then that you may do what you please. It is unlucky 

 if he should prove such a ninney as to fall down, and cry peccavi, because 

 then you must wait for a new excuse. 



Assure a people that their king is a fool or a rogue, and order them to 

 take another. If they are tame enough to believe you, there is no help 

 for the present ; if not, thresh them into submission. And, in the other 



