1830,] the Perfection of Modern Genius ! 00 



The Hon. L. Si h pe (aside). (An attempt to provoke me into a 

 flirtation, but she shall be disappointed.) At least., if she should ever 

 take up the pen, it will not be to write the history of the " Fair Impeni- 

 tent." She may have cause to blush for others, but will never be com- 

 pelled to blush for herself. 



The Hon. Mrs. Or y. Let me be peace-maker, and let us all go and 

 pay her a visit. I dare say, she will not think of etiquette. 



Lord M nidi rl s. I can assure you she is high and mighty 

 enough. Though the story goes, that she brought but a single trunk over 

 with her. 



Lord H. H // nd. Yes ; but what a trunk ! One that, like Lord 

 Stuart's boots and bridles, would fill fifty boxes any night in the year. 



J. L it r /. It is now but five o'clock, and she receives no morning 

 visitors a sign that she is a candle-light beauty. But here's H r ce 

 Tw ss, he has had nothing to do since he went to Whitehall, so he'll 

 take you to her hotel in the Adelphi. 



H ce Twss. With the most unspeakable delight. But her hotel 

 is how shall I pronounce it? an Inn. " Entertainment for man and 

 beast." And even there her habits are considered low. She actually 

 lives in the cellar. (He whispers Lord Sth pe.) 



L ncln St hpe. Drinks half the day? A rack-and-manger 

 life ? A dozen fellows constantly about her toilette ? Impossible ! The 

 story, ladies, is rather startling, but, Tw ss, luckily your more than 

 poetic invention is well known. 



The Hon. Mrs. H rt n. Mere envy on Mr. Tw ss's part; or a 

 family feeling for the new Juliet. 



H r ce Tw ss. Rivalry is out of the question. Whatever the stage 

 may be, your great performer is at this moment below every female that 

 walks the boards. 



Lady H // nd. That fact is told in such an official tone that, par- 

 don me, it must be untrue. 



Ch rl s Sh r dan. Your ladyship is perfectly right. The fact is 

 that she has much more of the Methodist preacher. I have seen her on 

 her knees in public ; and always with a desk before her, with a book of 

 notes on it, and a large band under her chin. 



H r ce Tw ss. Then, will your ladyship permit me to state a 

 fact, perhaps more to your liking. She's at this moment in the straw! 



( The ladies are all astonishment. They surround H r ce Tw ss, to 

 learn particulars.) 



A loud voice is heard outside. Excellent ! He pretend to manage the 

 state. Pho ! Let him send for me. I have managed three kingdoms 

 at a time ; headed seven rebellions ; restored three dynasties ; commanded 

 the combined fleets of Europe from my closet, for the boobies of Admi- 

 rals were all planet-struck ; and actually ruled one wife ! The world 

 is all one great compound of folly; and I am the only man, from the 

 Equator to the Poles, who has as much common sense as you could 

 squeeze between your finger and your thumb. Make me first lord of 

 the Admiralty, Commander in Chief, and Chancellor of the Exchequer, 

 and you'll see how the nation will go on. (The steps approach. 

 The Company simultaneously exclaim, " D // n! D // n! D // n!" 

 A general flight takes place, and the room is instantly cleared.) 



