1830.] The Club-Room. 33 



Old England, that grumblers would send to the dogs, 

 Stands bluff to the world, like the bull 'mid the frogs ; 

 Her looms but too busy, her merchants too rich; 

 Like his Grace, all her husbands in sight of the flitch; 

 Her taxes a shadow, her debt but a dream, 

 Her Parliament matchless, her statesmen supreme : 

 'Twas his Highness' hand worked the miracle all, 

 And Great Britain is now one great Harmony Hall. 



The Chairman. But what reports have you picked up in my absence 

 from town ? Are the public reconciled to Rowan and his blue-devils 

 yet, Rat? 



Rat. Not an atom. The only change that has taken place is, that 

 instead of calling them spies, as they did at first, they now call them 

 paupers ; for blue devils, poor devils ; and that, instead of looking on 

 them as a new regiment of Guards, they give the scattered and frozen 

 wretches soup and sixpences, and recommend them to the next hospital. 



The Chairman. A strong government must have a strong police. But 

 more of this anon. Apropos, Rat, have you finished your caricatures 



cursedly impudent things ! and deserving of not that any one cares 



a farthing about them. Let them enjoy their holiday ; it may not be 

 too long. But let me see them, Rat ; what have you got there in your 

 hand ? 



Rat. A production that I tremble to look at; a caricature, entitled 

 " Take care of your Pockets ; or, a Hint for the Orthodox/' 



The Chairman. Nonsense ! Hand it up to me at once. Ha, ha, ha ! 

 Capital ! the subject expressive in the first style ! The Bishop 

 (Derry, I suppose) with a face full of 15,000/. a-year, besides renewal 

 fines to the amount of as much more, hurrying on with the step of one 

 who knew that his pockets were infinitely the best part of him ; ruddy 

 with burgundy, and rotund with venison. Ha, ha, ha ! And then the 

 pickpocket that hooknosed fellow in the Guard's jacket plucking out 

 the handkerchief behind him. Who that hooknosed fellow is, I cannot 

 conceive. Not myself, certainly ? 



All. Certainly not. It has not the least resemblance in the world. 



The Chairman. But the minor pickpocket behind him that fellow 

 with every feature quivering with small rapine the tiptoe step, the 

 eager visage, the fingers nervous down to their tips, the whole- shape 

 made upon the thieving principle ; lank as a weasel, stealthy as a cat, a 

 living petty larceny ! By Jupiter ! the likeness is matchless, is irresisti- 

 ble, unmistakeable ! Ha, ha, ha ! But pass the bottle to Pillage, who 

 sits there, lost in alternate meditation on his poundage and his prayer- 

 meeting, with one eye turned on the skies, and the other on the pocket. 

 How the devil has he escaped the caricaturists ? He would make a 

 grand improvement on the Siamese boys ; two bodies under one coat 

 Wesley and Rothschild joined together, and both working together for 

 the main chance in the most perfect harmony. However, Pillage, what 

 news of the last quarter ? 



Pillage. Your pleasantry is always of the most irresistible order, and 

 I shall sit for Cruikshank immediately. As to the last quarter, if it be 

 worse than any of the preceding, it is better than 



The Chairman. Than what ? None of your side speeches here no 

 mystification no muttering but all as plain as the drill. Better than 

 what, I say ? 



M. M. New Series. VOL. IX. No. 49. P 



