32 The Club- Room. [JAN. 



seen him in this way frequently. But no man throws his complaints off 

 his mind in higher style. This is merely the nervousness of along ride, 

 or perhaps some bad news from head-quarters. Let us revive him, if we 

 can. 



Mummy. By all means ; do something absurd, Rat. We must not 

 not let him lose his spirits. Turn the subject ; you can turn any thing. 

 Give us a song. 



Rat. I really must beg to be excused. I have not recovered my 

 fatigue. My exertions, night after night, required the throat of a 

 whipper-in : the lungs of a boatswain -would have given way. I can 

 scarcely swallow my wine as it is. 



The Chairman. Poh ; you can swallow any thing. Do as you're bid, 

 without delay. 



Rat. I beg a thousand pardons. Your slightest wish is with me a 

 command. I never felt in better voice in my life. (He sings.} 



Here's a health to the Cabinet, early and late, 

 The brains of the empire, the props of the State ; 

 Of Europe the wonder, of Britain the pride, 

 Who, though all still unhanged, to a man have been tried ; 

 Who had sworn with the country to stand or to fall, 

 . Until office saluted their souls with a " call !" 

 If Holland and Grey pine to share in their pelf, 

 Let them pine ; for each member's a host in himself. 



Here's his Grace, the Dictator ! of Europe the lord ! 

 Who shines with the pen, as he shone with the sword ! 

 The Frenchman scarce mutters his mind in a squeak, 

 And humbly asks, what shall be done with the Greek ? 

 The Dutchman, before he gets drunk for the night, 

 Sends a courier to London to ask if " all's right ;" 

 The Prussian, determined to keep a whole skin, 

 Thanks his stars that Whitehall is so far from Berlin. 



The Russian, in honest regard for his nose, 

 No longer depends on his ices and snows; 

 He knows that there's one who will trip up his heels, 

 So he takes special care how he butchers or steals : 

 If he niches a kingdom, or peppers the Turk, 

 'Tis plain as a pikestaff he does the Duke's work ; 

 That he longs at this moment to kiss his great toe 

 For he knows that with him it's a word and a blow ! 



Then Ireland, that plagued us all worse than a wife, 

 By his Grace in a fortnight was settled for life ; 

 Little Shiel was knocked up, big O'Connell knocked down, 

 Doctor Curtis was dished, Doctor Doyle was done brown ; 

 The Papists all blush when they hear of the " Rent ;" 

 The towns are all trade, and the land cent, per cent. ; 

 All are fattening and quiet, like so many calves 

 His Grace never does his sublime things by halves ! 



No Protestant now in his door turns the key ; 

 No women and children are shot at their tea ; 

 No parson now walks half a yard from his gatQ, 

 Next day to lie under a new coffin-plate ; 

 No magistrate now dreads the use of his tongue, 

 Forewarned that, ere morning, his knell will be rung ; 

 No man walks his fields, with his gun at half-cock, 

 And the priests and the Papists have cut Captain Rock. 



