324 Notes of the Month on [MARCH, 



of a protestant kingdom having good wine." The Turk was right in his 

 oinography, or as the Gresham professor of Greek has it, vino-graphy ; 

 and undoubtedly popery and potation (or as the Gresham professor of 

 Latin has it, " potus drinkabilis") go hand in hand with marvellous 

 coincidence of virtues ; thus we have Claret and confession, Port and 

 purgatory, Tokay and transubstantiation, Madeira and monkery, Bur- 

 gundy and bulls, and so forth. 



But if there are men who have no vinous enthusiasm, we suppose every 

 body wishes to escape all hazards in the other world, and there the 

 papist distances all other men in the most steam engine style. Nothing 

 can be plainer on the face of the Romish budget, than that if a man is 

 roasted for a million of years, more or less, the whole is a matter of taste ; 

 for he might have escaped the torrefaction with the greatest ease, the 

 process being merely to pay a certain number of pence into the pocket of 

 a certain number of priests, to say masses for the culprit yet Catholic 

 soul. We give one of the registers of this wholesale anti-roasting 

 machine : 



"The sacred and royal Monte de Piedad, of Madrid, has relieved from 

 purgatory, since its establishment in 1721, till November, 1826, 



1,030,395 souls, at an expense of 1 ,720,437 



11,402, from Nov. 1, 1826, to Nov. 1827 14,276 



1,041,797 1,734,713 



The number of Masses, celebrated to accomplish this pious work, was 

 558,921, consequently each soul cost 1 9-10 Masses, or 34^. 4d." 



This is one of the triumphs of the church; and we congratulate the Laz- 

 zaroni of Naples, the bandits of the Roman states, the Rockites of Ire- 

 land, and all the cut-throats, poisoners, and pilferers, from one end of 

 the popish world to the other, on this splendid facility of Elysium, this 

 golden or silver ladder to paradise. 



" The honourable Mr. > being at variance with his father, 



sometimes speaks very freely in reprehension of his conduct, but plumes 

 himself on allowing no one else to do so. A sprig of fashion, conversing 

 with him on his sire's undutiful conduct, broke out with " That fool of 

 a father !" " Hold !" cried filial piety, " I will allow no man to call 



Lord a fool of a father." " It was a mere slip of the tongue," 



replied the other, " I only meant to say that father of a fool." Such are 

 the ways of newspaper mystification. The Honourable Mr. is a noble 

 lord, and the noble lord a very pleasant theatre-loving fellow, who is 

 keeping up the glory of Old England in ' far distant lands,' as the 

 romance writers say or sing. Happy England, that, if it produce 

 nothing else, produces fiddling ambassadors and greenroom lords. Will 

 the following paragraph explain ? 



" Florence is still more gay than it was, occasioned chiefly by the 

 attraction of Lord Normanby's private theatricals, and the splendid 

 hospitality of his table. Young Charles Mathews designs all the dresses, 

 and suggests the subjects of the new and beautiful scenes with which 

 the theatre is decorated." 



As to what Young Charles Matthews may do in the " designing way," 

 we suppose nobody cares but himself. But if my lord should ever con- 

 descend to honour London with the light of his countenance again, we 

 hope lie will bring, at least, the Duchesa de Belgiojoco, or whatever her 

 exquisite name may be, in his suite. Five la Drame ! 



