424 The Club Room. [APRIL, 



The Westminster constables have it all to nothing, and I see no reason 

 why I, or any man, should cling to the empty cause of whiggism, the 

 often roasted rump of the Greys and Grenvilles. But here come the 

 set. I have ordered supper in the next room for the Privy Council of 

 his " Majesty's Opposition/' as Hobhouse, in the plenitude of his grim 

 pleasantry, will call us. Allans, Messieurs ! 



The supper-room ; the company all talking together. 



Sir Robert. Capital speech of Wetherall's ; he cut up our quondam 

 friend in the highest Newmarket style ; distanced him a mile from the 

 post, and came in without a hair turned. 



Earl Icicle. Aye, " though his sins be. red as scarlet, they shall be"- 

 what is the rest of the quotation ? Is there any body here who goes to 

 church ? 



RaJcely. I know no one, but Saveall; he makes a regular peregrination 

 through them all, and has actually got the look of a churchwarden by 

 the operation. Piety will be the death of him ! 



Saveall. No, I disclaim all merit of the kind. Recollect, I was bred 

 at Aberdeen ; but if I have been seen in those places, to which Rakely 

 alludes, it was with no old woman's prejudice. I natter myself that I 

 know every shilling that every rafter of them would sell for, and that I 

 have compiled a body of information on the general subject of church 

 property, that will make a figure, of more than speech, before another 

 session is over. 



Shillelah. Hang politics ; let us be honest for once. (Waiter, calls}. 

 Have you any whiskey ? smuggled I mean. Let it be from the north 

 or the south, mountain dew, Inishoween, Peat-reek, or Essence of 

 Moonlight, anything but Parliament ; the name itself is a nausea. 



Waiter. My lord, I beg pardon : but we have nothing of the kind, 

 but " Queen's own." The house-steward laid in a large stock of it, in 

 her Majesty's time, by desire of the committee. 



Fickle, and all with a general 'sigh. Alas ! poor Caroline ! 



Sir Robert Ribbon. Aye, she was a capital card ; but the game was 

 too short. However, we made the most of it while it lasted. I wonder 

 how much Colburn or Murray would give me for writing her life. 

 " Life and Times of her late Majesty, Caroline, Queen of England, 

 Baroness of Como, friend of Bergami, protectress of Whiggery, and 

 patroness of Billy Austin^ with Anecdotes amusing and scandalous, of 

 public Parties, and private Individuals of the Cabinet and the Coulisses, 

 by Sir Robert Ribbon, Knight of the Great Bear, the Blue Badger, and 

 the Queen's Garter, c." The thing would do. What do you think 

 of the title ? showy, expressive, and catching. 



Megrim. Why, Bob, I knew you to be clever enough at making titles 

 before, but I had no idea of your magniloquence. It must do. It is a 

 capital specimen of the art of taking in. 



Shillelah. Hang politics again, I say. Is Fife married yet, or going 

 to be married ? 



Sheep. Poh ! poor Fife may be cleared of any such mal-a-propos. 

 He is as innocent as the new born babe ; yet he is looking out for a 

 spouse. 



Blunderbuss. Is he ? then, as we used to say on board the Bellona, " he 

 will much easier get his spouse, than find his match." 



Sheep. Poh ! Sir Joseph, I meant, that lie was looking out for a hus- 

 band for his protegee, that being his lordship's favourite pursuit, and 



