430 The Club Room. [APRIL, 



in waiting for Frere's letters, he might have measured every bridle path 

 in Gallicia, fathomed every ditch, and undermined every bridge, if he 

 so pleased. His hesitation ruined all. Napier pleads Wellington's 

 approval of this melancholy march, as one " In which there were but 

 two things objectionable, his not going straight forward when he had once 

 begun to move; and his not making a previous examination of the 

 country." But of what else does any man complain ? If he had known 

 the country, he might have marched as much at his ease as he ever 

 marched to the Horse Guards. If he had gone on with his retreat, 

 without being tempted to delay, in the vain expectancy of a battle with 

 Soult, he might have reached Corunna without the loss of a man. 



Friezland. But he must have taken to the ships after all. 



Sir Ronald. No more than we need at this moment. Napier absurdly 

 takes it for granted, that he must have been driven out of Spain ; and 

 confuses the story in his own sublime manner. But there was Corunna, 

 a strong fortress, which might have baffled the French with Napoleon at 

 their head, and which, garrisoned by British troops, would have baffled 

 them, if they carried the whole battering train of the grande armee at 

 their backs, In Corunna we ought to have made our stand, if we had 

 been beaten in the field. Soult had not a single battering gun in his 

 whole army. And if we had chosen to stand in Corunna, he must have 

 run out of the country. 



The proof of all this is, that Romana, with his five thousand naked 

 and almost unarmed- fugitives, did make a stand in Corunna; that Soult 

 dared not attack even its famishing and fugitive garrison ; that he was 

 forced to abandon Gallicia almost as rapidly as he entered it; and that 

 Romana's miserable force fought him, step by step, until they hunted 

 him over the borders of Gallicia. 



Blunderbuss to Megrim. Aside. That merciless old proser. I'll lay fifty 

 pounds to his rent-roll, that he brings you round to the battle of Vimiera, 

 and lays you flat in the ditch where he, at "the head of the gallant 



forty," but you know the whole story by this time, if eternal 



repetitions could drive it into you. 



Megrim Then stop his next charge, or we are all dead men, if men can 

 die of yawning. What object Nature has in permitting such pre-eminent 

 old bores as old generals to infest the earth, after the war is over, alto- 

 gether surpasses my comprehension. Give us a song, if it were for 

 nothing but to rout the general in the moment of a victory, that is sure 

 to cost some of us our lives. 



Blunderbuss. You shall have it as free as my broad pennant on board 

 the Bellona. The tune is by my boatswain, the best whistler in the 

 fleet ; the words are by myself. 



Megrim. Then, as Rogers says of Horace Twiss, " you will be double 

 d-rnn-d, for you sing your own song." But, no modesty, Sir Joseph ; 

 you know you're among friends. 



Blunderbuss. Waiter, another dozen of claret. Now, Megrim, none 

 of your good humour ; I hate the horrid grimace of your civilities. Look 

 the hyaena that Nature made you. 



SONG. " THE GIANT'S WEDDING." 



I sing a song, a wedding-song not like a maiden speech, Sirs 

 Beginning with a whisper, and ending in a screech, Sirs ; 

 The modest preface to some fudge, which fools call an Address, Sirs 

 As much to do with Mister Bull, as breeches with Queen Bess, Sirs ! 



