RANGE OF APPRENTICESHIP. 165 



ing for me to settle : and why ? only because they knew, Tim was 

 game, and perhaps also knew that he was foolish enough to listen 

 to them ; while the lasses themselves would join in the cry, and 

 appear to love me for being the cause of it. But twenty years 

 have made some change, and if in one way the worse, in another 

 I hope t lie better. Ah! 'tis vanity all, depend upon it," said 

 Mr. Crumplehorn, sipping his cider, with a shrug. " To be 

 sure it is," said I ; "experience is most folks' wisdom, and, from 

 your talk, I think your own.^- " Ha, sure enough that," re- 

 joined Mr. Crumplehorn, ** but what a happy thing it would be 

 if we could always be as we ought to 6e." "Oyes," said I, 

 " and yet there is a doubt, for I am afraid there w^ould then be 

 too many be-es for the hive ; particularly as an ancient has de- 

 clared, that it is good to be foolish at times.'" " Never, to be 

 sure," said Mr. Crumplehorn. " Yes, indeed," I remarked, 

 " and a very wise man too." " Ha, ha, ha," laughed Mr. Crum- 

 plehorn, "a wise man recommend foolishness? — well done you.'' 



I thought it of little use to bring forward my authority, as he 

 had on his side the one unerring. I was only anxious for the 

 continuation of his tale, so resumed the subject by asking what 

 followed the general preference of the village lasses, and whe- 

 ther it never occasioned a tinge of jealousy among the lads. " No, 

 never," said Mr. Crumplehorn, " we do not know what jealousy 

 is in the country." " Indeed, do n't we," sharply articulated 

 Mrs. Crumplehorn, " I believe we do." " Well, well, Peggy,'' 

 said Mr. Crumplehorn, smiling, " I suppose I was talked of by 

 loo many maidens to meet the notice of any one man ; but I 

 cannot help fancying that I might have picked up a few with a 

 good heavy purse." " And yet," I remarked, " the good heavy 

 purse might have had a bad light proprietor." *• And that Mr. 

 Crumplehorn now well knows," said his concerned partner. 

 " Yes, very true," said Mr. Crumplehorn, " we can look back 

 with more certainty than we can look forward, and this makes a 

 body believe, if any thing be ordained, marriage is.'* " ' T is a 

 household sentiment," said I, "and in all matters which have 

 really terminated we must go beyond ordinary philosophy to 

 prove the contrary." 



Tim was game, Tim was handsome, Tim was loved by the 

 pretty and the stocky, yet among them his lines were not to be 

 ' drawn. " It was not to be/' as Mrs. Crumplehorn expressed 

 herself, so we may fairly presume, "it was as it should be;'' 

 and as we now grate upon this hinge, Cupid and Hymen shall 

 open the door to secure an easy ingress. 



