38 THE FAREWELL. 



THE DEPARTURE. 



It was not until we were fairly under weigh, that 

 I recovered from the state of mental embarrassment, 

 into which I had been thrown by a violent coUision 

 of pain and pleasure ; nor could I, even then, fully 

 make up my mind, as to whether my causes for sor- 

 row were greater or less than my reasons for joy. 

 Certain it was, however, that my motives for leaving 

 England received additional force from the very cir- 

 cumstance which damped my inclination for the jaunt 

 — by which you will at once perceive that profit and 

 not pleasure was the end I had in view. 



Heaven be praised for all things ! — most particu- 

 larly for withholding from me, what, in the heat of 

 my discontent, I have often denominated as Heaven's 

 best gift — an independent fortune. I have arraigned 

 Fate as partial ; men as tyrannical and selfish ; 

 women as insensible and vain ; and have unhesita- 

 tingly pronounced myself as the most ill used of 

 God's creatures. In conclusion, I have only to add, 

 Heaven be praised for all ! 



Let people say what they will of the philosopher's 

 stone, so that they do not compare its beneficial 

 power with that of woman's love, which makes us 

 look back upon the anxieties, disappointments, and 

 regrets of years, as so many causes for self congra- 

 tulation. 



The wind was directly in our teeth — Twas not a 

 half-penny matter — Away we went ; paddling along 

 in duck-like majesty ; rapidly overtaking all the 

 saihng boats, which, going over thrice the distance 

 we went ourselves, made not one third the way : — 



— Had I sought through the works of all the 

 amatory writers, which have appeared since Petrarch, 

 I could not have met with a better illustration of the 

 force and virtue of love than was here afforded me : — 



Inclination was as strongly opposed to my going 

 abroad, as the wind was to the progress of our vessel. 

 The vessel went on nevertheless — so did I — not be- 

 cause I could not help it — for, had I been on foot. 



