154 

 PARODY ON HAMLETS SOLILOQUY. 



To drink, or not to drink — that is the question. — 



Whether 't is nobler in the mind to suffer 



The taunts and scoffs of hearty, roaring fellows ; 



Or take my glass again, amidst their noise, 



And so, by joining, end them ? I '11 drink ; I will ; 



I Ve done ; and by that draught I '11 surely end 



Shame-fac'dness, and the thousand cutting jests. 



Milk-sops are heirs to, — 't is a consummation 



Devoutly to be wish'd — to drink, — next mom ; — 



Next mom perchance be sick ; — Aye, there 's the rub ; 



What heavy, deadly, heart sickness may come, 



When I 'm awak'd from unrefreshing sleep. 



Must give me pause ; There 's the respect. 



That makes calamity after debauch : 



For who would bear the girds and grips of fools. 



The laughter of the buck half-over seas. 



The tempting glass that sparkles to the brim. 



Courting the longing lip, and troublous cares. 



That vex with sad anxiety the mind. 



When he himself might his quietus make 



With one poor bottle ? Who would water swill. 



And groan and sweat under a sober life ; 



But that the dread of something after wine, — 



That fascinating liquid, from whose draught ; 



None e'er returns unhurt — puzzles the will, 



And makes us rather bear those ills we have 



Then fly to others which we dread yet more ? 



Thus illness does make cowards of us all ; 



And thus the native thought of drinking deep 



Is dash'd at once with the pale dread of sickness, 



And jolly souls of noble heart and spirit, 



With this regard from taverns turn away, 



And lose the name of topers. 



These lines were written by the late J. J. Howard, Esq., 

 Surgeon, of Berbice ; who died at Sea, on his passage from that 

 colony to Barbadoes, on the 12th of Oct., 1810. 



