282 THE HORSES. 



And the upper boxes — what a disparity of atmospheres ; in 

 scaling Vesuvius the higher we mount the cooler we feel, but here 

 caloric is proportionate to elevation in an opposite degree. O ! 

 what a savoury gush is projected along the lobby, something like 

 that of an ill-conditioned Bologna sausage, cured in tobacco smoke : 

 but every body here seems very well contented with him or herself, 

 and the spectacle, (as Horseman would say.) Here are congre- 

 gated druggists, booksellers, jewellers, half-pay officers, abundant 

 in progeny, and sundry other very good people, with their several 

 wives and sweethearts, who love to masticate an apple while the 

 music is getting ready that they may relish the death of West, 

 as a British officer, the better afterwards. 



Here too are the gentlemen of the press, " them covies is the 

 gemmen what reports," and numerous delectable damsels, who 

 start, and tremble, and grow pale when the musketry is vigorous. 

 How ill natured it would be to say that these affections (not 

 affectations) are modes of calling forth the tender attentions of 

 such esquires as may be felicitous enough to be waddling through 

 the first volume of Cupid's big book ! 



Now for the celestials, the ascending scale of theatre accommo- 

 dations being small by degrees and beautifully less, the occupants 

 of the gallery take uncommon care to accommodate themselves : 

 there is, however, a civility regnant among them, which, at all 

 times leaves the highest seats to the last comers. Though pro- 

 vided with all the extra heat and unnecessary exhalations that 

 the rest of the house find it convenient to get rid of, the gods are 

 absolutely the happiest fellows in the assembly, they qualify 

 themselves to endure a vapour bath of 110 degrees, by amply 

 cooling their stomachs with everlasting bottles of rum, which is 

 always attempered by cart loads of apples, oranges, and nuts ; 

 whilst the inedible matter of the two latter are unanimously ex- 

 pended on the head dresses of the pittites. The gods have the 

 capability of exerting at least two senses at once ; and they can 

 yield attention to the performance and do orange suckery at one 

 and the same time : from the constancy of their attention we may 

 not be surprised to find the principal part of any applause, or the 

 reverse, always proceeds from them. 



No interruption to a pathetic part in the comedy, or a laughable 

 scene in the tragedy, will ever occur in the gallery, except, per- 

 haps, when a bonnet of one of the sailor's Poll's gets overboard, 

 and, sailing through mid-air, comes to an anchor in the orchestre 

 — a voice or two may tlien be heard shouting — " Pipe all hands 



