A PIC NIC. 21 



Of all the birds in the air, what do you say of young H- 



Now, ladies and gentlemen, I have a particular reason, which 

 I may explain hereafter, for not mentioning more than the initial 

 of this very respectable name. 



** I say he is a poor, pitiful fool," sharply replied the odious 

 matron, "and that he shall have no daughter of mine. He 

 spends on himself all he has, and only thinks how to maintain 

 his idle profusion, instead of how to get on in the world by 

 means of his excellent connexions. He is over head in debt 

 already, and his income is not so good by one half as he is un- 

 principled enough to represent it to those who, like us, Mr. A., 

 have an interest in knowing. But still the creature hns his use. 

 He brings others, and will do no harm to the girls, for he phi- 

 landers only with married women. He does not want a wife — 

 that is to say, not a wife of his own; and, moreover, I know it, 

 Mr. A., if he does like one of our girls better than another, it is 

 Adey, and not Maria. Take my word for that." 



I said I had a particular reason for not mentioning more than 

 the initial of this last described gentleman's name. Out upon the 

 malicious old witch ! — I, ladies and gentlemen, I — the blushing 



author — am young H . There is an English proverb 



touching the nature of the personal topics which listeners are 

 oftenest fated to hear. There is also a French one which says, 

 that " only truth can wound." Every word this detestable woman 

 said is true. I do spend more than I shall ever be able to pay. 

 I am given to talk mysterious nonsense to married persons of the 

 other sex. For I find I cannot hold my tongue ; and I have, 

 in my time, discovered that, if one talks much to a young 

 unmarried lady (and I have not much fancy for talking to old 

 ones), one's discourse is apt to be noted down with a degree of 

 precision quite disagreeable by a certain married lady of great 

 authority in these matters — her mother. But, if ever I covld 

 think of sacrificing myself to matrimony — if ever I could think of 

 " altars and homes," in any but the widely patriotic sense — if I 

 cow/c/ reconcile myself to give up all the thousand indulgencies 

 of celibacy — if, as Alcides did when he married, I could surrender 

 my Club — if I could compromise my love of ascension turtle, 

 and mock turtle, and of every other turtle for that of one faithful 

 turtle, of one little happy nest — oh ! how I should jump at that 

 respectable way of life, shared with the pretty, and amiable, and 

 good, and dear Adelaide Allington. 



