THE PLEASURES OF CHILDHOOD. 149 



nursing. Then the precious darling is presented to papa — who 

 adds to its pleasures by pronouncing it tlie ugliest object he ever 

 beheld ; whilst, to prove his paternal feeling, he gives it a kiss — 

 that is, rasps half the skin from its face with the black stubble of 

 his bristly chin. 



From this period to that of cutting its teeth, which of course 

 is another pleasure, it experiences the diurnal delight of cold 

 water ablutions, which it acknowledges by exerting its lungs to 

 the top of their ability; and by this proclamation of its felicity, 

 no doubt, adds to that of the aforesaid papa, if he happen to be 

 within hearing range. 



"And vaccination certainlyi^has been 



A kind antithesis to Congreve's rockets." 



But it also has certainly been for some time one of the plea- 

 sures of childhood, for who will deny the pleasantness of having 

 a lancet thrust into each arm, and a dose of castor oil into the 

 stomach. 



A new and enlarged series of pleasure commences with the 

 event of Master Dickey's going to school — a preparatory delight 

 is his being encased in a pair of breeches, and a button spangled 

 jacket withal. That he feels comfortable in these habiliments is 

 evinced by the ease of his attitudes, which are not a whit more 

 graceful than that of a dead pig planted on its hind legs against 

 a brick wall, on a frosty morning. 



At Doctor Birchrod's establishment, he has the pleasure of 

 sitting quietly at a desk, for six hours per diem, with the super- 

 addition of being placed near a window, whence he has a pros- 

 pect of sunshine and green fields. The big boys "leather" him 

 because he cannot box, or haply because his mamma never sends 

 a plumcake large enough to give them a feed all round. The 

 master " thrashes " him because he has learned to box, and has 

 sported a black eye in testimony thereof. 



Whatever mischief may be done in school-room or play-ground 

 is sure to be laid to the credit of him and his co-mates, the little 

 fellows ; for the children of larger growth have sufficient ingenuity 

 in most cases, to keep themselves clear of such scrapes : they 

 fancy that it is quite enough to be birched for the sake of Homer 

 and Euclid — poetry and philosophy. 



Other pleasures of childhood may be enumerated, under the 

 denomination of scarlet fever, measles, hooping cough, chicken 

 pox, nettle rash, and sundry other matters, id genus ; too numerous 

 to mention here, but which are duly set forth in the advertise- 

 ments of all quack doctors. 



X. 



