14 THE SWITCH OF KENDAL. 



Though never taught to know a letter. 

 No Solomon e'er reason'd better. 

 " That which could malady expel 

 " Could bar its entrance full as well." 

 With her ** prevention was the sure 

 " And pleasant mode of ready cure." 

 But, though as any hand-vice close. 

 Her tongue was loosen'd by the dose ; 

 And, while it work'd, the maudlin jade. 

 To one the recipe betray'd. 

 That one, in secresy, to ten. 

 And each to twenty more, again. 

 All having gravely pledg'd their souls 

 To be as mute as sleeping moles. 

 But Nelly, having slept a night. 

 Awoke and started in affright ; 

 Her head still ached, though clear of fume. 

 And, gazing wildly ronnd her room, 

 Recall'd to mind her ev'ning chatter. 

 And weigh'd it as " no laughing matter ;" 

 She saw before her, in the morning, 

 A sure dismissal without warning. 

 And, dressing quickly, glided down. 

 Just as good folks were up in town ; 

 With proffer'd oath the whole deni*d. 

 And prov'd her mistress was beli'd. 

 She swore the cordial was not ****«*, 

 But Glauber salts and sugar candy : 

 And who could doubt her, when she said 

 A glass or two had turn'd her head. 

 And made her tell a silly youth 

 A tale without a word of truth 1 

 Thus Dora was from slander freed, 

 And all her knowing friends agreed 

 To vote, without a non-content. 

 Her elixir quite innocent. 

 Though Rumour, prone to base invention. 

 In whispers, scrupled not to mention. 

 That, on one very nervous night. 

 She smash'd her mirror, in despite. 

 Alas ! poor Nelly's loud denial. 

 To Dora, prov'd a sharper trial ; 

 All slanders largely gain in telling, 

 From mouth to mouth, like torrents, swelling ; 

 Her secret reach'd the Market Cross, 

 We may be sure, without a loss : 

 And 'twould have vex'd a Tristram Shandy 

 To hear the shout " It is not ****** I " 

 Where'er she went, with laughter rude. 

 The odious cry her steps pursu'd ; 

 And shock'd her eyes, in vulgar scrawls, 

 Chalk'd high upon the doors and walls. 

 Nay more, 'tis said, though greatly doubted. 

 And by some learned Trav'Uers scouted. 

 That, to this blessed day, in Kendal, 

 When any stagg'ring, tipsy Spend-all, 

 Top-heavy, reeling to and fro. 

 And balancing 'twixt heel and toe. 

 To 'scape a headlong tumble, halts. 

 They say « He*s had his Glauber salts" 



But " the unkindest cut of all," 

 The sting that drove her to tho wall. 



