104 



NOTES AND QUERIES. 



[No. 170. 



SHAKSPEARE S BEDSIDE, OR THE DOCTORS 

 ENUMERATED. A NEW BALLAD. 



On looking over a collection of MSS. which has 

 lain untouched for many years, I have lighted on 

 the accompanying ballad. Of its source I know 

 nothing; nor do I recollect how it fell into my 

 hands. I have never seen it in print. The author, 

 fancifully enough, imagines the various editions of 

 Shakspeare brought in succession to the sick-bed 

 of the immortal bard, and has curiously detailed 

 the result of their several prescriptions. 



If you do me the favour of giving it insertion in 



Jour valuable " N. & Q." I shall feel obliged ; and 

 think that your numerous Shakspeare corre- 

 spondents, to some of whom it may be unknown, 

 will not be displeased at seeing it in the columns 

 of your interesting journal. The editorial period 

 to which the ballad is brought down will tolerably 

 fix its date : 



Old Shakspeare was sick — for a doctor he sent — 

 • But 'twas long before any one came ; 

 Yet at length his assistance Nic Row did present; 

 Sure all men have heard of his name. 



As he found that the poet had tumbled his bed ; 



He smooth'd it as well as he could ; 

 He gave him an anodyne, comb'd out his head, 



But did his complaint little good. 



Doctor Pope to incision at once did proceed, 

 And the Bard for the simples he cut ; 



For his regular practice was always to bleed, 

 Ere the fees in his pocket he put. 



Next Theobald advanced, who at best was a quack, 



And dealt but in old women's stuff; 

 Yet he caused the physician of Twick'nam to pack, 

 , And the patient grew cheerful enough. 



Next Hanmer, who fees ne'er descended to crave, 



In gloves lily-white did advance ; 

 To the Poet the gentlest of purges he gave, 



And, for exercise, taught him to dance. 



One Warburton, then, tho' allied to the Church, 



Produced his alterative stores ; 

 But his med'cines the case so oft left in the lurch 



That Edwards * kick'd him out of doors. 



Next Johnson arrived to the patient's relief. 

 And ten years he had him in hand ; 



But, tired of his task, 'tis the gcn'ral belief, 

 He left him before he could stand. 



Now Capel drew near, not a Quaker more prim. 

 And number'd each hair in his pate ; 



By styptics, call'd stops, he contracted each limb, 

 And crippled for ever his gait. 



From Gopsal then strutted a formal old goose. 

 And he'd cure him by inches, he swore ; 



But when the poor Poet had taken one dose. 

 He vow'd he would swallow no more. 



But Johnson, determined to save him or kill, 



A second prescription display'd ; 

 And, that none might find fault with his drop or 

 his pill, 



Fresh doctors he call'd to his aid. 



First, Steevens came loaded with black-letter 

 books. 



Of fame more desirous than pelf; 

 Such reading, observers might read in his looks,. 



As no one e'er read but himself. 



Then Warner, by Plautus and Glossary known^ 

 And Hawkins, historian of sound* ; 



Then Warton and Collins together came on. 

 For Greek and potatoes renown'd. 



With songs on his pontificalibus pinn'd, 



Next, Percy the Great did appear ; 

 And Farmer, who twice in a pamphlet had sinn*d^ 



Brought up the empirical rear. 



" The cooks the more nura'rous the worse is the 

 broth," 



Says a proverb I well can believe ; 

 And yet to condemn them untried I am loth, 



So at present shall laugh in my sleeve. 



RlGDUM FUNNIDOS. 



James Cornish; 

 Falmouth. 



[This ballad originally appeared in the Gentleman's 

 May. for 1797, p. 912. ; and at p. 1108. of the same 

 volume will be found the following reply : 



" Answer to Shakspeare's Bed-side ; or, the 



Doctors Enumerated. 

 How could you assert, when the Poet was sick. 



None hit off a method of cure ; 

 When Montagu's pen, like a magical stick, 



His health did for ever ensure?"] 



FOLK LORE. 



* One Edwards, an apothecary, who seems to have 

 known [more] of the poet's case than some of the 

 regular physicians who undertook to cure him. 



Cures for the Hooping Covgh (Rubus fniticosusy^ 

 — Tiie following is said to prevail in the counties- 

 of Warwick, Worcester, and Stafford, as a remedy 

 for this harrowing disorder in children : that if a 

 child is put to walk beneath a common bramble 

 (Rubus fniticosus), having rooted in the ground at 

 both extremities (which may be very commonly 

 met with where they grow luxuriantly), a certain 

 number of times, a perfect cure would be the 

 result. 



* From the abilities and application of Sir J. Haw- 

 kins, the publick is now furnished with a compleat 

 history of the science of musick. 



