19 

 A FEW WORDS ON THE GENTLEMEN. 



Dedicated, ** with permission," to "Philombrotus." 



The last number of the Museum contains some severe obser- 

 vations and criticisms on my sex, in an article, entitled " A 

 fashionable Lady's day ;" now, although there is confessedly 

 exaggeration, I must candidly acknowledge that a great deal of 

 truth is contained in this sketch, pungent and sarcastic as it is; 

 ashamed am I that we women can fairly be taxed with so much 

 of the ridiculous and unintellectual, — however it, is not here my 

 purpose to dilate on the errors of Ladies, but to show, if possible, 

 that Gentlemen are not immaculate, or free from blame, — that 

 even they have their follies and absurdities, and practise much 

 that would be " honoured rather in the breach, than in the ob- 

 servance." 



It is my opinion, and it has not been crudely or inconsider- 

 ately formed, that gentlemen, — once escaped from the anguish of 

 the cane, the labour of the imposition, and the dread of the 

 pedagogue, soon forget to follow out practically, that oft-re- 

 peated adage, " Surgere diluculo saluberrimum est" — that there 

 are many of them still to be found in the arms of Morpheus, long 

 after the time when '^ Phoebus has, o'er this wide and spacious 

 earth, displayed the ^olden threads of his refulgent hair" — save 

 and except when, some piscatory expedition to ensnare the "bright- 

 eyed perch/' or the yeliow carp, lures them from their downy 

 couch, or when "with all the thoughtless insolence of power,'' 

 they purpose a rural ramble in hopes of slaughtering the fea- 

 thery tenants of the air. 



And now let us imagine a gentleman at breakfast, in all the 

 exquisiteness of his Cashmere dressing gown, a newspaper is 

 before him — regardless of the eloquence and vigor of the speeches 

 of Brougham, Peel, or O'Connell, he ravenously darts at the 

 last express from Newmarket or Ascot, and revels in the deeds 

 of Ibrahim or Plenipo ; there is no glance for science or litera- 

 ture,— no admj'ration for the rail-road or the canal! 



The time is arrived for a stroll, or a lounge, — he struts through 

 the streets, with an inimitable air of nonchalence, or an insuffer- 

 able hauteur, or he dandles along with a spiritless, lack-a-daisical, 

 straggle; he cuts Delancy, and encounters Melville, recounts the 

 "stale, flat, unprofitable" witticisms of the previous soiree, 

 titters at the ludicrous affair between A. and B., or complains, 

 with a sad tale and woeful visage, of his horrid bore of a head- 

 ache, and the pernicious influence of blue devils. 



