20 A FEW WORDS ON THE GENTLEMEN'. 



He drops in at the hair dresser's, obtains satisfactory and 

 accurate information as to the state of the weather, hears of a 

 route, to which, to his infinite surprise, and, peradventure, to 

 his gieat mortification, he has not been invited, — and purchases 

 " Dupuytren's Tamrukeyhu," which, in an advertisement, (un- 

 reservedly credited by him) promises to cure "sallowness, and 

 wanness; to beautify the countenance, and purify the skin." 



O, ye balms, ye oils, and ye creams, ineffable are the benefits 

 ye confer, indescribably enchanting the beauties ye create! 



O, for the pencil of an Irving, to picture the unilateral curl of 

 our gentlemen, in all its beauty ; what cultivation, what vege- 

 tation, what luxuriance ! how can I give a correct idea of the 

 delicate tenuity of his walking cane, its peculiar swing, and the 

 versatile toss of its silken tassel. 



Perhaps the pastry cook's is the favorite lounge; here, at 

 least, our hero is sure to meet some "/^articular friend," or some 

 ** capital fellow;" and the inventive and ingenious powers of 

 Scandal, the casual election of a churchwarden, or an alderman; 

 I*' a marriage, or a wrestling match, furnish an inexhaustible source 



wherefrom to draw an antidote which will accelerate the tardy 

 progress of time, or banish the melancholy tadium of ennui. 



Here the devourer of buns, and the consumer of jellies, the 

 profitable customer, and the servile lounger, hold their constant 

 and unenviable matinees. 



I shall not, as ** Philombrotus," go through the regular routine 

 of a day ; I leave the gentleman to enjoy his dinner, and his 

 wine, to sip his cofl'ee, and then be off to a rout; I will not 

 descant on his saltant powers at the ball, or attempt to describe 

 the waltz, the galopade, or the quadrille, — savoury as he may be 

 made, by the innumerable essences of the Parisian perfumer, or 

 the oppressive foetidness of Arabian musk ; — but will merely 

 offer a few remarks as they occur to me, on his habits and his 

 taste. 



Let us take the theatre, — ^I boldly ask, if many do not exist, 

 who, though they would deem it a great affront to be told that 

 they were not Gentlemen^ yet, who, by their vulgar conduct, and 

 their boisterous and unnecessary disturbances, in a great measure 

 debar numbers of respectable, and well-disposed females, from 

 the truly delightful and rational amusement which the drama 

 can afford ? are these too, the identical persons who would cry 

 up the unconscionable ravings of Mrs.Trollope, as pure effusions 

 from the crystal rill of truth ? 



