52 REMARKS ON AN IMPORTANT BRANCH 



surely, to fence her child's path from the dangers that * most easily 

 beset it." But to accomplish this the habit of unfettered confidence 

 must be formed from infancy, and never checked by such rebuffs as 

 I have alluded to. Of course, judgment and discretion are needed 

 here, as in every other branch of education, nor can any rules be 

 given as applicable to every instance ; for this is not a case for 

 rules, but for principles. As a principle, I would lay down the 

 vast importance of cherishing habits of unreserved confidence from 

 the child to the parent. No mother, however, need expect this 

 who will not be confidential in turn ; for cold does not produce 

 frost more surely than distrust produces reserve. Very great exer- 

 cise of prudence is requisite here ; the judgment of each individual 

 mother must determine the precise line of conduct suitable to her 

 own case ; and unfortunately some mothers shrink from the trouble 

 of this, and excuse themselves by saying that " they let things take 

 their natural course." But surely a question involving the mental 

 purity and domestic peace of a daughter deserves to receive some 

 attention. 



Another principle may be mentioned, namely, that when a mo- 

 ther does converse with her daughter on any subject connected with 

 the affections and with married life, she should carefully avoid 

 levity and * foolish jesting, which is not convenient." Let her 

 speak as to a rational being, on a rational subject, and she may rest 

 assured that her girl will not be half so liable to have her head 

 turned by the attentions of men, or to lay herself out to attract 

 their regards, as if the common plan had been pursued. And while 

 I urge upon the mother not to laugh with the daughter, I would 

 also say " Do not laugh at her." It is to be expected that a young 

 and inexperienced creature will hold many opinions not borne out 

 by facts, and that she will entertain hopes and expectations which 

 real life will never fulfil. She must be warned of this, and her 

 mind must be trained to meet disappointment. But yet how plea- 

 sant and bright a flower is the unaffected romance of youth ! To 

 those who have lived to break the charm, how saddening is the 

 thought that the being who now enters life so full of joyous antici- 

 pation will herself inherit the lot of suffering which is peculiar to 

 woman, over and above all that she shares with man ! When a 

 girl expresses the opinions natural to her age respecting first love, 

 unchanging constancy, and disinterested attachment, do not laugh 

 at her, but calmly point out how little probability there is that 

 actual life will realize her expectations, and that a great fund of 

 comfort and enjoyment exists independently of them. There is, 



