BACHELORS' BLESSEDNESS. 113 



But the "blessed" bachelor dislikes " brats" at 

 least he intimates it shame upon him ! Surely that 

 man must be callous to the core who cannot participate 

 in the innocent raptures of childhood ; who cannot con- 

 sent to lose sight of the stern reality of mature life in 

 contemplating the open-hearted simplicity of its dawn ; 

 who will not venture to give a little prattler a " ride o' 

 cock horse" on his knee, lest it might endow him with 

 a moist remembrancer of its prowess. If the bachelor's 

 antipathy to children be generated by the consideration 

 that they do not afford unmixed joy, and if he loathe 

 matrimony because some sours are mingled with its 

 sweets ; then what sublunary gratification will he pro- 

 pose to us which is not darkened by many shadows. 



The idol of Ambition is not to be worshipped, with- 

 out entailing on its votary many a heart-rending and 

 humiliating pang ; nor is the " lore of lettered page" to 

 be acquired without undergoing a train of head-aches 

 and indigestions ; bear witness ye bilious-looking tem- 

 plars and cramped-jointed, would-be-wrangler Cantabs. 

 Would the bachelor seek unalloyed enjoyment in good 

 feeding ? let him have the fear of arthritic torments 

 before his eyes. Would he imbibe solace from the 

 bottle ? let him beware of gallstones and a green-co- 

 loured liver. Would he revel in the sunshine of " glo- 

 rious thought" and marry his splendid ideas to immortal 

 verse ? let him consider the wreck of mind which has 

 overshadowed the latter days of some of our most ex- 

 alted geniuses. 



But a truce to " glorious thoughts" commend me to 

 a wife and three or four curly headed boys ; let them 

 climb my knee, as many have taken the unrestrained 

 liberty to do before ; let them daub my whiskers with 

 bread and butter and slobber my cheeks with saliva ; 

 let them variegate my breeches with little shoe-prints 

 and search my pockets for halfpence : I'll enjoy myself 

 in knowing that they are joyful and snap my fingers 

 at all the " blessed" bachelors in Christendom. 



The bachelor says that " some of the greatest 

 men that ever enriched the world by their splendid 



VOL. in. 1834. Q 



