544 THE POPULAR SCIENCE MONTHLY. 



one college is a good thing, surely two must be twice as good, and so 

 on, indefinitely. Why, then, should we not have a college of our 

 own, and train up our young men at home, instead of sending them 

 away to institutions established in distant places for the gratification 

 of wretched local pride ? Besides, the nearest university to us was 

 that hot-bed of infidelity founded by the State, and there was great 

 danger lest our youth should go there and become corrupted. Such a 

 catastrophe must be prevented at all hazards. 



But one argument influenced us above all others, and was, in fact, 

 unanswerable: we had in our midst a very prominent man, the Hon. 

 Magnus Virtue, who, after accumulating a large fortune in the manage- 

 ment of a distillery, had lately retired from business, and joined my 

 church. Out of the goodness of his heart, and encouraged by my 

 exhortations, he decided to become a public benefactor, and accord- 

 ingly oflered us $20,000 for the foundation of a great college to be 

 called by his ever-to-be-revered name. Here, then, was an opportu- 

 nity which Ave ought not to neglect. Twenty thousand dollars was a 

 most munificent gift, and would found an institution better endowed 

 at the start than any of our near rivals, except perhaps the political 

 abomination already mentioned. Twenty thousand dollars meant a 

 fine building ; and surely students' fees would sufiice for the expenses 

 of running. As for libraries, apparatus, etc., we could easily rely upon 

 donations and bequests which would, of course, come pouring in i;pon 

 us as soon as we were well established. 



So we organized a board of trtfttees, procured a charter, and set to 

 work under the title of " Virtue University." This, we thought, had 

 a grander sound than "" Virtue College," and we well knew how much 

 the public is influenced by names. Shakespeare's absurd statement 

 about the odor of a rose is contradicted by universal experience. 



The first great task before us was, plainly, the erection of a build- 

 ing ; and this involved the choice of a site. Here we wei'e very for- 

 tunate. One of my parishioners, a noted real-estate broker, happened 

 to own a worn-out farm some two miles from town, and was anxious 

 to bring it into market. He was a man who clearly recognized the 

 duty of casting his bread upon the waters whenever a fair j^tospect 

 of speedy return with interest was discernible ; and so he presented 

 us with five acres of said land, situated on the top of a steep blufi" a 

 quarter of a mile from the nearest road. The gift, of course, adver- 

 tised the rest of his estate, which he at once cut up into building-lots, 

 and sold at a handsome profit. He got his money, and we got our 

 site, so both were satisfied. Far be it from me to impugn or even to 

 suspect his motives. Of course, our building was begun without delay. 



Meanwhile we went vigorously to work manipulating the news- 

 papers, both secular and religious. Every week we caused some item 

 to appear concerning the progress and prospects of " Our Great 

 American University." Rumors of expected bequests, and specula- 



