62 THE MISERIES OF A GRAMMARIAN. 



a lady under each arm, and the Doctor followed — ' non passibns 

 cequis' — to the foot of the table, fearful of being overpowered by bad 

 grammar at the head of it. He now had the good fortune to be 

 placed between two belles, but one of them was a dumb belle to 

 him, although loquacious and flirting beyond moderation with the 

 youth on the other side. The other young lady took pity on the 

 doctor, and addressed him with much volubility of speech, but with 

 so much affectation that the quantity far exceeded the quality of her 

 discourse. 



' A triste sombre day,V said she (the doctor bowed); * one which 

 creates an ennui mortel ; indeed, the whole of life in England is but 

 la la, bien monotonne.^ 



Madam,' said the doctor, * I do not speak French, but should 

 feel honoured by your amiable conversation in plain grammatical 

 English.' 



* Quel drole de coups ! quel original !' said she with a wink to 

 the other flirt (behind his back). 



* Fair lady,* resumed the doctor, * I am an original ; one, I be- 

 lieve, that no one will copy ; however, I understand and can trans- 

 late French, as well as Greek and Latin; nevertheless, I only 

 profess being a grammarian, and speaking my own language 

 correctly.' 



*A Doctor Syntax!' whispered the fopling to his neighbour. 

 The soup was now served. 



' Vot vill you be helped to V said Mrs. Middleditch to the per- 

 turbed grammarian, * vil you taste the weel?' 



This was putting a spoke in his wheel ; the pronounciation took 

 away all appetite, and the line of weel was no longer' in his line. 



' By the by,' pertly asked the male boarder, * you spoke of the 

 Greeks ; what are they about ?' 



' Forming a gas company,' replied he, * to enlighten the ignorant.' 



^Charming!' exclaimed the highly dressed ignoramus, *The 

 Turks will soon be done up ; if that's the case it must be all dicky 

 with them.' 



The flirting belle who had been backing the doctor now turned 

 away from the young man, biting her lips with indignation at the 

 ignorance of her beau, and countenanced the man of grammar ; but 

 this triumph was of short duration, Mrs. Middleditch discomfiting 

 him by asking him if he voidd have some vild fowl ? 



' Vile fowl !' ejaculated the doctor : * No, madam, the name is 

 enough, without the substance.' 



' Vy then vidgin,' added she, * since you he so difficult to please ; 

 they are both anonimous terms.' 



