24 THE ALUMNI JOURNAL 



A BIT LIMITED. 



The inquisitive visitor to the studio of the famous but crotchety 

 artist propounded the query, "What do you mix your colors with?" 



"With brains, sir," replied ■the painter in dignified tones. 



"Ah," commented the visitor, "so you paint miniatures." — Pear- 

 son's Weekly. 



WHERE APOLOGY IS FUTILE. 



When he knew himself to have been in the wrong, William E.' 

 Gladstone did not hesitate to apologize candidly and handsomely, 

 but he knew that in most cases apology was no atonement for an 

 offense. 



"You can't unpull a man's nose," he once remarked to his private 

 secretary. 



City Nephew — I noticed that the hired man didn't drink coffee 

 for breakfast. 



Farmer Bentover — No, he's afraid it will keep him awake during 

 the dav. — Good Fixtures. 



BUT HE 'WAS GONE. 



"I tell you what," said the sad-looking man, "it's pretty hard for 

 a man with a large family to live on a small income." 



"Yes," eagerly agreed the stranger, "but it's a great deal harder 

 for his family if he dies on one. Now, my line is insurance ; let me 

 interest you — Eh? What's your hurry?" 



TO SAVE TROUBLE. 



A Connecticut man tells of two Irishmen from Boston who, 

 while driving through the state named, observed that many of the 

 barns had weather-vanes in the shape of huge roosters. 



"Dennis," said one Irishman to the other, "can ye tell me why 

 they always have a rooster an' niver a hin on the top of thim 

 barns ?" 



"Sure," replied Dennis. "It's because of the difffculty they'd 

 have in collicting the eggs." — Philadelphia Ledger. 



