SOCIETY OF CENTKAL ILLINOIS. 235 



shrunken specimens of berries, a million of which would not make a 

 quart; and may he not be sending to some more favorable locality 

 for a few boxes of the natural-sized fruit, that he may not forget the 

 character of the genuine and valuable berry when it does appear 

 upon his own grounds, or for the making of a little cordial for use 

 during the childrens' teething! 



When the grapevine flourishes like the Green Bay tree, and 

 covers itself with bunches of fruit, of enormous proportions, let not 

 the daughter of the horticulturist become proud and haughty of spirit, 

 and throw aside her everyday beaux for something more aristocratic, 

 but let her remember that "pride goeth before destruction, and an 

 haughty spirit before a fall," and before the grape harvest cometh the 

 bluejay and the cat bird, the robin and the thrush, and instead of 

 the rich and purple harvest cometh a mass of dried and wrinkled 

 skins, wherein delighteth the honey bee and the ant, and wherein 

 reigneth contention and strife. 



And when the potato crop moveth itself aright, in the early 

 springtime, and the planter prophesieth that the surface of his land 

 will be raised a foot or two by the enormous crop of tubers below, 

 is he not "grasping at straws?" For, behold ! the potato beetle 

 cometh early in the morning and tarrieth until the dewy eve, and 

 devoureth that which is wholly above ground, and rejoiceth as the 

 speckled hen which has already laid the rosy-tinted egg; and then 

 cometh the long-geared Carifhardes Vituperations — or whatever you 

 may call it, and voweth to make inquiry concerning the matter, and 

 paweth up the earth in disgust, and eateth the beets, and the cucum- 

 bers, and the tomato vines, and with its paws upon its empty stomach, 

 it devoureth a few leaves from the pigweed, and drags its mortal 

 remains into a neglected fence-corner and passeth away in the agony* 

 of despair. 



N. B. — In this paper, prepared with so much care and fore- 

 thought, 1 have tried to give you a partial description of the success 

 (or rather, unsuccess) of the fruit-growers of Morgan County, 

 during the present season, and if I have succeeded in making you 

 understand their condition, I have accomplished my purpose. I 

 know of no better way in which to close this historical paper than 

 with a touching poetical appeal to your refined and poetical natures. 



You will notice that the first stanza makes a stagger at the 

 silvery moon, and in order that you may the better understand 

 exactly what I mean, I will describe to you the kind of a moon it is 

 staggering with. It is not the brand splinter new moon, which 

 chases the setting sun to rest as closely as a yaller dog pursues a 

 retiring rabbit over yonder hill. Neither is it the big, round moon, 

 which looks as full as a goose, and which wanders around all night, 

 not seeming to know when to retire. But it is the last few days or 

 or nights of the first quarter of the ncAv moon, which sets about 

 eleven or twelve o'clock p. m. 



