148 Wisconsin State Horticultural Society. 



HUMBUGS. 



By GEORGE J. KELLOGG, Janesvillb. 



There are but two classes now living, the humbugged and the 

 humbugger. Presume they are both here. Let man, woman or 

 child who is not humbug, stand up. Go to Washington; the greater 

 the position, the greater the strife; the higher the prize, the more 

 trickery, chicanery, deception, fraud, avarice, imposition and all 

 the evils of high life, culminating in debauchery, bankruptcy and 

 ruin. 



What of humbugs in the legal profession? There was a time 

 when the laws were so simple there was no need of lawyers. Now, 

 while congress is composed of more than three-fourths of this fra- 

 ternity, what wonder that the laws are so ambiguous that even a 

 Philadelphia expert cannot get beyond the amendment to the 

 amendment. Did you ever know a lawyer that was not a humbug, 

 or who would not for money clear the very dirtiest, low-lived scamp? 



Are there any clerical humbugs? The question seems to be one of 

 fleeces instead of sheep, and not much care of the lambs except 

 that the fleeces be kept good. Are we getting so far advanced that 

 we are losing all the old landmarks? Is there not humbug in our 

 colleges, in our city schools, and less common sense in our district 

 school teachers than years ago? In the graded school, we find the 

 scholars must march to music, step to time and go barefoot; and if 

 by accident a pencil is dropped, it cannot be picked up until school 

 is out, no matter if the child is idle the balance of the day. One 

 of our city patrons told me that all the scholars learn in the high 

 school is to walk up one aisle and down the other without kicking 

 his fellow. Is this not humbug? 



Did you ever know a doctor that was a humbug, or rather did 

 you ever know one who was not? When called, will he not shake 

 his head and look wondrous wise; make the case a very critical one; 

 he was not called any too soon; doubtful; he would need to see 

 the patient again before he slept, and between the nostrums he 

 left and the disease, no wonder the patient is worse and will doubt- 

 less remain about so if the doctor can control the case, especially 

 if the bill is good. Have you ever known his reputation built up 

 by a good deal of brass and two good horses, with a furious drive 



