SWINE. 239 



struggle between nature and art. In such a comparison we shall 

 discover that both have regular features, and that both wear 

 bristles, the one wearing his on his back, the other on his upper 

 lip ; the one never smokes, while the other is seldom seen with- 

 out a roll of the burning weed between his teeth ; the one has a 

 ring in his nose to prevent his grubbing, and the other should 

 have one to aid him in the same process ; the one is confined to 

 his sty, and the good of the community demands that the other 

 should be similarly secured. But with all these discrepancies 

 in their condition, we find them approximating the grand cli- 

 max of union by the most tender demonstration of feeling and 

 taste. Yes, let the bore freely satisfy the ardent desires of his 

 inner man with the more delicate parts of the boar, and what is 

 he then but a mere stuffed sausage ! Now, the union is con- 

 summated, and both natures are blended, producing thereby a 

 perfect example of — fusion. 



In introducing the second part of our tale, your committee 

 would first premise that every suitable preparation had been 

 made by the directors for the accommodation of all invited 

 guests, whether from the city, the suburban villages, or the 

 more remote towns. Tenements were indeed provided for all, 

 yet only two of them were occupied, whether from the muddy 

 state of the roads, or the more probable desire to follow city 

 fashions, and ride in carriages as do city bores, was a question 

 your committee did not pause to solve. But such was the fact, 

 and they were so received and respectfully waited upon as they 

 were handed from their family carryalls. Cards of introduction 

 were duly furnished, through which the committee were duly 

 made acquainted with the genealogy and distinctive merits of 

 each respective family. Many of these appeared anxious to 

 exhibit their claim to affinity with the royal blood of Suffolk ; 

 while others were equally gratified in tracing their relation, by 

 direct descent, to the noble house of Essex. Thus we see that 

 aristocracy is the same domineering principle, whether found in 

 the pig pen, or in the parlor. 



It was not the duty nor the pleasure of your committee to 

 inquire as to their purity of blood, but to judge of their qualifi- 

 cations for the higher purpose of their existence, viz, : their 

 usefulness after death, or, in other words, the quantity and 

 quality of pork and lard they would yield in proportion to the 



